


You In A Raincoat

by rainysunset



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Developing Relationship, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainysunset/pseuds/rainysunset
Summary: "We talked and hang out and raise a cat together...""...it's really feel good spending time with her, so I thought... about to uh..."He searching me in the crowd, and somehow he can look at me right through my eyes."...take this to another level.""You asked about my confession last night, so I prepared this for you."She's just a bet. And he's a jerk.She decides to entertain the spectators.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

* * *

Sungjin smile from ear to ear while putting the money in his wallet. Brian and Jae has the same smile on their faces, in contrast with Wonpil and Dowoon who drown in despair. Sungjin succesfully dating his target, and Brian and Jae won the bet. The three divides the money happily, makes the maknae feel even sadder.

"It's Jae hyung's turn." Wonpil say matter of factly, he want to get over it, to make this sad feeling of losing money disappear right away.

"I have a recommendation for his target!" Brian shouts excitedly. "And I bet he's not gonna make it." Then he grins confidently.

The rest of the members of this clique looks at Brian with the same interest with what they shown 2 months ago, when they announced Sungjin's target. This game of betting-to-date-a-girl has reach another level each time a new person's turn to challenge.

"Will it be hard?" Dowoon asks curiously.

"A high-class?" Sungjin too, can't hide his curiousity.

It's Jae after all, the heartbreaker jerk they're talking about. He's famous for that name even from high school. But their league right now is in a bigger scale, and Jae changed his method from then. He plays it quietly these days, keep it lowkey instead of showing off. But a jerk is still a jerk.

"I never failed, guys." Jae reminds them matter of factly.

"That's why I choose this girl. I want to see you fail once, and I'm confident with this." Again, Brian grins.

"Who is she?" Wonpil finally asked.

"First, she's pretty. Innocently pretty." Brian starts describing the girl, and the other listens with seriousness that beat any serious moment in their college's life.

"Innocent?" Sungjin asks, "Like she's never have a boyfriend before? That innocent?"

Brian laugh a little, "I don't know her info to that extend, but she's crazy with study. I mean, I hear her friends teasing her with that one day. She wasn't in inauguration but went to the library instead. Crazy, isn't she?"

"A total nerd." Dowoon speaks.

"So, a pretty nerd?"

"I'm not lying, she's pretty, I swear." Brian convince Jae that already look him in disbelieve. "I know what your types like, and this girl is just right. I'm not gonna hooked you up with the uglies, believe me. It's just that she's a book-person. She loves books more than people."

"How did you know?" Sungjin wants an elaboration.

"She's one of my customer at Jerks." Brian wandering to the times he once spoke to her.

Jerks is a convenience store, by the way. It established by Wonpil and his group-mates in Entrepreneurship class last semester. Starting as an assignment from that class, the convenience store grews rapidly. It provided many student-related stuff, from a stationery to a life-needed groceries, so Wonpil decided to not close it. Instead, he expanded it. It has bigger and more comfortable place right now, built in just right location where the students from different faculties come and back from the campus. Now, five of them running it, with the help of Wonpil family, of course. Almost all the things in that store comes from Wonpil's family business. It can happened if it's with Wonpil's family.

The five of them take turns to work there, be a cashier, load an inventory, maintain the stock and other things that keep up the sustainability, in business terms. Wonpil is good at that as his major is Business Management. And once again, his family helps.

Brian is the one who liking it the most. He likes to meet new people, be acquintance with any kind of students, because he believes that 'link' is the key to a successful man. So he came often to the store, standing behind the cashier counter, took people's purchases while conversing with them, even if it just a simple Hi and have a good day.

That day though, he finally started a conversation with a girl he'd been observing for the past weeks. The girl took his curiousity because she's always bought a raincoat, never an umbrella. Just raincoat every single time when the forecast indicates today will be raining.

That day their store was running out of raincoat stock, so Brian suggest her to buy umbrella instead. "It's not that expensive though. Besides, you can use it for a long time, unlike the plastic raincoat."

She pouted her lips, that Brian found cute, while thinking for a second. She walks to the umbrella stall and thinking again for another second. Finally she took one transparent umbrella.

"My books will still get wet if I walk in umbrella, but that's okay for today. Please restock the raincoat fast." She smiles.

But Brian's mouth is agape a little for a full second, before he snap it and smiling back to her then took the purchase.

And now, the members are showing the same expressions Brian did back then. Their mouths agape because of her ridiculous reason of not using umbrella. What? Because her books will get wet? What kind of people who mind the books more than anything in this digital era?

"But she's pretty, right?" Jae try to convince himself.

"So pretty. You just check it yourself first, then we can meet again to settle it."

"Okay, then."

"I'm expecting it!" Dowoon says in excitement.

Jae stand suddenly.

"Where are you going? You don't have class today." Sungjin asks, because he expecting them to lunch together today.

"Hair Shop. Isn't a nerd like a black-haired-guy?" Jae looks at them for the last time then walks outside, not even bother to hear their response of his question.

"It's going to be fun, really." Brian grins wider.

-

  
A message sent in group chatroom.

_Brian: Candidate come in 3._

The bell rings as the door open and a white skin, long hair slim girl walks in. Brian welcomed her with his usual smile like he greeted all the customers of Jerks.

The girl smile a little but walks straight to the end of this place to get the raincoat, as usual. And like any other day, Brian see books in her left hand, kind of heavy though, but she's not bother it at all and continue walking with light steps.

"Sorry," said Dowoon when they're almost crash to each other in a bend.

Brian see the girl gives Dowoon a little smile and a 3-seconds-look but not stopping to reach her destination.

"Careful, it's hot." Dowoon's said to Wonpil who sit next to the window, dying to see the girl upfront, but he can't.

Brian see Wonpil's lips moving a question "Pretty?" without making any sound and Dowoon put up his thumb in the air.

Meanwhile Jae... is just grabing the only raincoat left on the stall nonchalantly. At least that's the vibe he's trying to show: nonchalant. Right after the raincoat is in Jae's hand, the girl arrived there.

Brian grin a little, waiting what will gonna happend.

Jae, with a raincoat in his hand, leaving the stall still with his nonchalant acts, while the girl is now looking at an empty stall in disbelieve.

"Wait, excuse me!" The girl move two steps towards Jae.

Jae stops, pull off one of his earphone, then turning back at her. Still with his nonchalant look on his face.

The girl staring at a raincoat in Jae's hand with an unsure look. Jae frowns his forehead, now looking at his back that empty, then to the girl, making sure if he really was the one she's calling.

The girl just sighing. "No, I'm sorry. I just..." The girl stuttered a bit, "...you can proceed." She nodded her head once.

Jae just blink his eyes, then continue walking anyway, straight to the cashier where Brian act to be busy with the monitor.

Now, Wonpil and Dowoon's chatting is heard quietly inside the store, complimenting how tasty the Ramyeon they shared everytime they take a bite. Not long after Jae done with his payment and left out of the store, the girl comes to Brian. Her face is full of hopes.

"That was the last..." Brian said softly with an apologizing look on his face.

"Why...?" The girl whimper.

Wonpil choking on his food, and the sound is kind of loud in this quiet place. Dowoon laugh a little.

"I'm sorry. You should came a liiiittle bit faster." Said Brian, holding his laugh with the best effort he can put.

The girl sighing again.

"You bought the umbrella the other day, though." Brian continue.

"It's inconvenience, and my books really get wet from the splash when I walk."

"Just pray that today won't rain, then."

"The forecast said it'll be raining hard in the evening." She sigh again then chuckled to end their conversation. "Alright then."

Then she left accompanied with "Have a good day!" from Brian.

 

A message sent in the group chat.

_Jae: Game in. Same rules._

Brian grins, Dowoon shout "Okaaay!" with his hand in the air, while Wonpil... still do something about his choking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will continue from Original Female Character's point of view from now on

 

It's raining. No surprise, though. It's just I really pray like the cute cashier adviced me to do this morning, and I kind of believe that it will come true. Of course not, the weather forecast nowadays is 99% accurate.

Now what? Should I just wait here until it stops? Should I go back to the library? Should I go with an umbrella instead? I have it in my bag, but I still not feel comfortable walking under it. I try a week ago, but it's still suffocating. I really don't want to use it. I sigh, staring at every single rain drops.

Someone open the umbrella beside me. A guy, tall, black hair, a bag hanging on his left shoulder.

"You don't bring your umbrella?" The guy asks me unexpectedly.

I smile politely, "I... just... want to wait for a while."

"Waiting for someone to pick you up?"

"No."

"Want to use this together? It's late."

I stare at him. There's no indication that he's a bad guy, he looks like a typical student here. But that's not a real problem.

"Uhm... thank you, but I'm good." I smile again politely.

He pouts his lips, "Or... I have a raincoat if you want."

I open my eyes bigger. Something snaps me just when he mentioned raincoat. "Oh! You're the guy that bought the last raincoat in Jerks this morning!"

"Yes, I bought it at Jerks this morning." He smiles. "My name's Jae. Here."

I took the raincoat, "Don't you remember me?"

"I do. That's why I offering help right now." His smile get bigger.

Handsome.

"Oh my god, thank you so much. They run out of stock of raincoat today, this is literally the last. But looks like I'm fated to wear this." I keep talking, fast. A habit of mine when I'm excited.

"It's not free though."

I stop moving. The raincoat is already on me. "Okay, I'll pay. Same price with Jerks?"

He laughs, "Not with money."

I give him a questioning look.

"Your name." Jae smile and stare at me. "Pay me with that."

I smile, "Aerin. Han Aerin."

"Okay, Aerin. See you tomorrow."

Then he left. Just like that. Why he's so sure that we will meet again tomorrow? Is he know me?

-

  
He is really not just empty talking when he said we'll meet again tomorrow. He is here, standing at podium in front of me, in front of entire Business Management freshman students. We're in some kind of seminar, an important introduction about our faculty. Some kind of sharing knowledge about business with a senior who success with their business, or ideas, or business proposal that gets a lot of investors interest.

And there he is, stood as the youngest senior, along with his friend who introduced himself Wonpil. They're just a year apart from us, but they got this big opportunity to share their successful business, which is... Jerks. Yes, Jerks. That Jerks I always visit everytime the forecast says it's going to rain. And the most shocking of all, Jae is not a Business Management student, he's Psychology. How can he?!

Then my question answered by Wonpil. He tell about the history of Jerks, of how it was established by a group of Business Management students for an assignment in Entreprenuership class, of how the store now runs by 5 students from different faculties, who are Wonpil's close friends from high school. And he speaks about how a business should sustain, and try every way possible to keep running. Even when the formers walk out from it, Wonpil Sunbae never give up on it because the prospect of the store was excellent back then. The formers just too busy to handle it themselves, so Wonpil's family helps. His high school friends are just came often to the store, but recently they're attached to it. So their names are on the management board right now, as they're helping with most of business processes.

Jae, on the other hand, is speaking about how to manage your time between classes and doing business.

"I'm not best at it yet, but you just have to wisely use your time. Find a good partners, understanding each other's schedule, matching it, take simulations until you find the best fit of when is who doing what. And most of all, dicipline to doing your commitment."

I look around my friends faces, and almost all the girl's show an amusement towards Jae Sunbaenim. Understandable. He is handsome, smart (from what he said just then), and I got the feeling he's a likeable person. I'm sure he was a populer kid back then in high school. Is he in a sport club?

I close my eyes for a full second, why am I assuming things about him, though? It's too soon to do that. My habit of judging people really have to be cured, really.

"On other hand, you also need this easy yet difficult thing to build relationship with your partners: trust. Sometimes trust comes easily to a person, while it's damn hard for the other. Your business will ruin if you trust people easily without logics, but yor business will probably ruin too if you can't trust anybody to work together with you. So this is a tricky things. That's why your intuition should work in this matter. How, though?" Jae Sunbaenim asked, relax, like he owns the podium and this entire aula.

No one answered his questions though. I don't know, maybe because we don't know the answer or because we busy admiring his figure right now.

"Practice?" I suddenly raise my hand and stand a little bit.

Jae Sunbaenim smile, searching the source of the voice, which is me. He stares me in the eyes before saying, "Claps!" Then all of the students clapping.

"So guys, starts as early as possible. Starts right now, right where you are. Business is unpredictable. It happening right away from some people, but there's people who should go through a hundred trials and errors before it's happening to them. That's why my advice to you, as you are a Business Management students right now, start doing it from where you are right now. You're study the theories in classes, but you'll learn from practice. It will be widened and sharpened your intuition. That was all from me today. I am Jae, thank you once again for having me."

Everyone clapping their hands excitedly.

"And for you who want to ask questions about Jerks, reach us on twitter @TheJerks we will try answers your curiousity there. I'm Wonpil, and thank you for having me too. It's such an honor to be here. Let's start from where you are right now!"

Once again the aula is loaded with clapping, some students even screaming their exciting souls freely. We are unexpectedly motivated by them, and when we feel motivated, that is the right time to start. Wise man say.

.

 

"Here."

I stare at a tringular kimbab in his hand. So does my friends, but then they're turn their staring swiftly, to Jae Sunbaenim, with a mix of questioning and admiring look on their faces.

"For answered my question." He said with a little smile on his face.

"Ah!" I understand then take the kimbab, "Thank you, Sunbaenim." I bow politely.

My friends look envy...? Someone even whispering, "Must be nice." very softly.

"Just Jae." He said to me, "See you around...?"

Again, I give him my questioning look for a full second, but reply him anyway, "Yes, sure. See you, Jae." I smile, trying to be nonchalant about this. But my friends around me already acting silly, teasing me with all the weirdest sounds they can make.

"See you for all of you, too." Jae said to them to clear up their quick assumption.

-

  
A message sent to the group chat.

_Jae: step 1 completed._

_Dowoon: already?!_

_Sungjin: in just two days? I even haven't met her yet._

Dowoon sent a picture.

_Sungjin: is it her?_

_Dowoon: yes, pretty isn't she?_

_Jae: the last chance to change your side, guys._

Dowoon and Sungjin are typing but there's no message sent until 5 minutes later.

_Dowoon: still in my first choice, failed._

_Sungjin: me too._

_Brian: same!_

_Wonpil: I root for you Jae hyung, FIGHTING! Please get her, I need my money back. Tell me if you need any help!!!_

_Jae: so it's only Wonpil, huh?_

_Brian: it will be tough *grins*_

_Dowoon: interesting_

_Sungjin: any chance for me to meet her guys? I'm curious_

_Jae: she'll come to you_

Jae sent a picture. A screenshot of Aerin's SNS update, which is: a poster of Open Recruitment for staff member of student council which Sungjin lead this period, along with a caption: _'should I join this?'_

_Wonpil: don't do something strange, Sungjin hyung. Jebal. I need my money back._

_Sungjin: *grins*_

-

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

I walk to the tteokbokki's stand I often visit and see Jae standing there, pulling out wallet from his pocket.

"I'll pay it, Imo!" I shout as I fastened my pace towards the stall.

Jae turn his head to the back, he put a little smile when he see me.

"The usual tteokbokki?" Asked the seller, a women in her mid 40's, whom I really close with. I called her Imo (auntie) because she helped me so much when I just started my new life here in Seoul. She lived in the same neighborhood as me right now, so she really is like a replacement of mom's role to me.

I nodded with a smile on my face.

"I have money, though." Said Jae.

"A payback for the kimbab." I smile cheerfully to him. Now we're standing side by side in front of tteokbokki & fish cake stall.

"The kimbap is a reward for answered my question. I'm not demand a payback."

"Just take it before I change my mind." I reach the tteokbokki Ahjumma lend to me.

"Add this then," Jae grab one piece of fish cake then stuff it to his mouth.

"It's hot though!"

"It's better to eat it hot." He said while open his mouth wide, try to make the air in because the fish cake is hot indeed. But he liking it.

I laugh a little before take a bite of my tteokbokki after blew it. Then for the next couple of minutes, silence creeps in, leaving us busy chewing our food.

"How's school?" Asked Imo after cleaning some tools.

"Good." I say while chewing.

"Your grades are good?"

"Average A for middle terms."

"Such a show-off," said Jae beside me, joking.

"It's okay, you can show it off to me." Said Imo with wide grin on her face, she looks proud of me.

"Imo, indeed." I give her a thumb before take another bite.

I heard Jae huffing softly, then he snatch one tteokbokki from my cup.

"Hey!" I look at him in disbelieve.

"It's tasty." He said while chewing it happily.

"Come here, let me add it for you two."

"No, it's fine Imo, really."

Jae takes another one, he's staring at me while doing it. In fact, he keep staring at me until right before he put the tteokbokki into his mouth, when he sure I won't stop him, he stuff the whole of it into his mouth and chewing it excitedly, he kind of jump a little.

I took the cup away, far from his reach and he's laughing at that. Me too.

We walks side by side together after that. Coincidentally, our home seems located in the same direction, so here we are.

"Why you always come back late? It's dangerous to walk this road alone. It's dark. Aren't you afraid?"

"I am, at first. But I realized there's nothing to be afraid of, and I get used to it."

"Still... be careful. People are insane nowadays. I read news about some random guy stabbing a student without any specific reason, 'just for fun', he said."

"Do you realize that your story is frightening me instead?" I give him a look.

"It's for you to be careful! I'm telling you a fact, so you can always prepared and be careful. Society is scary these days."

I stare at him a couple of seconds longer.

"Why? Now you feel thankful?"

I laugh a little, "Thanks though."

We arrived at my house.

"You live here alone?" He asked with so much concern on his face.

Why though? I asked myself.

"My friend stay often."

"How often?"

"Are you interrogating me right now?"

Jae laughs. "No, I mean... just in case you're lonely if your friend not staying, I can come here to entertain you." He said jokingly.

I punch his shoulder, "That's sounds like a pervert's saying."

"Is it? Oh, I'm sorry, then."

I smile and laugh a little.

"Good you still laugh at it, though." Jae smile again.

I think I'm over-consumed his sweet smile that diabetes will comes to me soon.

"Okay, go in. Rest, don't study."

"What?!" I laugh again as I turn back my head to him that still standing in front of my house-gate. "What kind of senior are you?"

"You need enough rest to be able to absorb knowledges tomorrow."

"My god, you sounds like my dad." I laugh again.

"I hope it's a good thing."

I stare at him with a smile still paste on my face after laughing, "It's a good thing." Finally I wave at him, give him the last smile on my face, then disappear behind the wooden gate.

-

  
I don't know what's with this coincidental meet between me and Jae, but I feel like I see him everywhere, everyday. He's not in the same faculty with me, but I feel like universe keep make us meet. Coincidentally. Wether in Jerks, in streets, in tteokbokki's stall, in front of library late at night that ended up with us walking together to go home.

"I'll pay for it." He said one day when we meet at Jerks.

The usual cute cashier in front of us looking at him, raise his right eyebrow (I'm amazed by it, how can he do that?)

"You don't need to." I said to him.

"A payback for the fish cakes the other day."

"That's my payback for the kimbab." I insist.

"The kimbab is my reward for..."

"Add this then." I grab any mint candy on cashier desk, cutting his sentence to stop this bickering.

"What?!" He look at me in disbelieve.

I just shrug my shoulders.

The cute cashier smile a little before processing our purchase.

"If you think about what you should buy to payback this later, I like Americano." Jae said while give the cute cashier his card.

I smile jokingly without looking at him, "No, we need to stop this payback things."

"Why? I'ts fun though."

"Because we keep adding things everytime it happens and the payback will keep increase from time to time. I'm not rich." I take my purchase and he takes his.

"You're not buying raincoat? We have a lot today." Suddenly the cute cashier interupt us.

"The forecast not saying anything about raining today, you didn't watch it?"

"Ah... so you just buy it if..."

I nodded and smile, answer his question even before he finish it.

The other day, when we meet at cafeteria, he gave me a big smile like we're really close, in front of my friends. That small action lead to a big assumptions. Haru is the one who give me the most intense look, like she demand an explanation asap.

Haru is really a best friend of mine, since elementery school in Daegu. She knows everything about me. Literally. She's a friend that often stay at my house here in Seoul. She has an apartment unit, but kind of far from campus, so she prefer stay at my place, especially when she has morning classes.

And this me-meet-Jae thing is dig a curiosity out of her. So after we finish lunch, we continue to a coffee shop near our faculty building just for me to be interogated by her about that matter, and I answered just like the way it is. Should I detailed every meeting me and Jae had? It's not like we're planning it though, purely coincidence.

"But it's kind of strange that you two met that often. He's a Psycho's student!"

"Don't abbreviates it like that, it's creepy!" I shouted shock by her words. Psycho?

"Sorry." Haru apologize right away. "But think about it. The building of Psychology faculty is kind of far. How can he manage to met you in streets leads to our building? How can he met you at cafetaria, which is placed in our faculty not his?"

"Maybe he has some business with Wonpil or his other friends in our faculty. Who knows?"

"Who knows? Maybe he did it on purpose...?"

"For what? Is he really has that much time to be wasted?"

"What else, dumb? Maybe he intentionally want to see you."

I pfft at her and took a sip of my strawberry juice.

"You want my advice?"

"Regarding?"

"Him."

"We're not in that kind of relationship, Haru."

"He clearly interested in you. And my advice is just one: open your heart. Please. Jebal. Even if he just ended up to be your friend in the end, still... try. Okay? Enough running away from your past behind those books. You need to experience this nice feeling called love, hon. Seriously."

"Just drink your juice. I have class in 20 minutes."

"Geez. Be late sometimes." She sip her drink.

"You wish." I grin.

 

 

And now, here he is, standing outside the library, focus on a phone in his hand. It's raining, and seems like he's not bring his umbrella with him.

"Not bring an umbrella?" I asked beside him.

He turn his head from the phone to me. "I didn't watch the forecast today." He pouts his lips.

Cute.

"And I'm so hungry right now, I didn't eat my lunch." Yes, he looks... out of energy.

"There is a tasty chicken resto not far from here." I give him my umbrella, then I start to wear my raincoat.

"You bring raincoat and umbrella in your bag? I think you just use raincoat, why bring umbrella too?"

I prolong my answer, wearing a raincoat slowly to delay it even more. I don't want to answer that question yet. I still not wanting to tell that story yet, to someone who not that close to me. Only Haru.

"Long story." Finally I said after finish put on the raincoat.

"You're not have books in your hands right now, why still choose raincoat? Umbrella is more convenience, isn't it?" He asked again while we starts walking side by side, leaving the library.

"The reason why I don't use umbrella lead to the reason why I prefer use raincoat. Besides, it's the only substitution of umbrella."

"You have some kind of.... painful memories with umbrella...?" He try to asks carefully. I feel he secretly taking a glance at me between his question to read my mood about talking this private matter.

"Kind of..." I really don't want to talk about it with him, it's no fun. It's rather sad, and I'm not in the mood to feeling sad in this rainy day. Thank god the chicken cafe I'm talking about is there on our vision, just a couple of steps more. "That's the chicken cafe I told earlier."

"Oh thank god! I'm so hungry I almost can't bear it anymore I think I'm gonna faint soon."

I laugh a little, I laugh too often when I'm with him. Strange.

We walk in silence until we arrived in front of the cafe. He turn his step toward the entrance but I keep walking straight.

"Wait, you're not gonna eat with me?"

I stop and turn my body to him, "I... will have something at my house."

"What? Let's just eat together. I swear I'm not gonna asking you about the umbrella thing again."

I laugh a little. He really have the ability to pull out my laugh. Now I'm thinking about his offer, and suddenly, Haru's words come to me. About maybe he's interested in me and about how I should open up my heart.

"Okay, I'll pay. Come on. It's lonely eating it alone." He whimper a little. So cute.

I smile again, "We can divide the payment." Finally I walk to him, to the entrance of the cafe. This is my first step to open up my heart, Haru. You should appreciate it tomorrow.

He must be really hungry. Looking at him stuffing the chicken that fast into his mouth, is he even chewing it?

"Eat slowly, your stomach will hurt." I said worry.

"I really hungry." He said between his eating activity, "And this chicken is tasty tasty." He kind of singing the word 'tasty tasty' from Fergilicious. Am I heard wrong?

Then we focus eating for the next minutes.

"I never thought you're a Psychology's student."

He smile, a chicken wings between his lips and his hand. "Why?" He can manage to ask that.

"Because you're too..." I stop to find the best word and he staring at me waiting, still biting a chicken wings. "...carefree? You're more like an Art's student. Like... music or dance related."

He laugh. I think I'm starting to like his laugh.

He put down the bone then say, "I'm terrible with dancing." Then laughing again like he's remembering the time when he try to dance and failed, "But I can play guitar, and sing a little bit. So your guess is reasonable."

"Do you want to be a therapist after this? In some kind of... mental division in hospital?"

"Not sure about it yet." He reach another wings. "I like watching people."

Me too, takes another wings and starts feeling interested about his story. It's always interesting to hear people explain about things that I don't understand or aware of. I'm not into the Psychology, but I'm curious about how the students learnt it. What exactly their learn? Basically human's mental health?

"There's this kind of Psychology that focussing on human's behaviour. Like one person's habits that similar to other's that forms a society's common habit later. I am more interesting in that than the study of mental health. I've learned it too, I learned about mental disorder, stress, anxiety. But the more I read about it, the more I feel depressed myself." He laughs, finish eating one chicken wings again in the middle of his talk.

He give me a look, asking to take the last piece of chicken in our plate. I smile and nodded my head then he takes it happily.

"You know the common reason married people decides to divorce?"

"An affair...?" My heart beats faster and my mom's face appears for a second in front of me, but then it disappears right away.

"No. It's because they don't love each other anymore. Because the romantic love fades. There's a research that shows love wil fade around the 7 year mark between a couple, whether they are married or not. More shocking, love with so much romantic acts fade even faster, in 3 year mark."

"Romantic acts?"

"You know... like couples who always shows affections towards each other by doing every sweet things like... holding hands or hugging in public, candle light dinner to celebrate their anniversary or valentines day, couples that always says how much their love each other, tying her shoes, take her things, open up doors for her, feeding each other... there's so many sweet things couples could do in a relationship."

"But when you're really in love with your partner, those romantic acts can't be avoided, right? Like, you can't help it, because that's how the things should be for a couple."

He snap his fingers, "True. It's hard to not doing that, because of the desire to make each other happy. And every couple, every human living in this world, knows it really well that those little romantic things are what happiness is all about in a relationship. Money is in second place, but everyone agreed that romantic acts is the winner."

"So... the things that every couples did to make them happy, is also the reason of their faded love? You said that those sweet little things are the happiness that every couples seek in a relationship. How can it be the reason of a fading love?"

"According to the research, in times, you won't feel your partner in a romantic way anymore. The romantic acts itself wil become a usual things, something you feel, do and received regulary, in routine. And people tend to think that routines are just a routine, something you do regularly, it become not that special anymore from time to time. Thus, the love they give and received from each other won't feel that special anymore, too. Fade away little by little."

I gasp at his words, because it finally hits me.

"You got the point, right?"

"It just hits me like... oh my god I got chills."

"Suddenly, you feel your lover is more like a relative rather than a special one."

I agape my mouth.

"But that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed, of course. It's just become different. The relationship is still real, though. What you felt when the romantic episodes happened is real." Jae end his words and we felt a kind of epiphany.

It make us silent for a couple of minutes, busy with our mind.

"What about sex-desire? It's another important thing in relationship. Can it be some kind of like... barrier to a fading love? To slower, if not prevent, the divorce?"

Jae take a long sigh, and think for a moment.

"It can. It surely can. The research mentioned about sex, children, a joint assets, a joint investments, and other attachment, as things that can differs the time needed for one couple to reach the feeling of divorce to one another. But there's another research that shows the opposite, says that sex alone is also fades from time to time. It makes everythings different between them. It's complicated, and not result with the same conclusion..." Jae sip his soda then silent again to think. "Some couple decided to not divorce just because their children, while the other couple is not having a child but has many joint assets and investments and because of that they're still together, doing their routines. Because they're already attached to it."

I am so impressed with this conversation. And him. He's sparkling when he's talking. He doesn't hesitate a little bit about what he said, means he really understand it. He picked a good words in every sentence. He makes me understand too. He good at talking, really. He must be really smart.

"In the end, life is about routines, Aerin." He looks me in the eye with some intensity. It's like his soul is trying to meet mine, I don't even understand what I'm thinking.

"People always searching for routine, something or someone stable in our life. We search those in hoping to have the same happiness at all times, hopping that what we feel in something with someone at the spesific time is going to last and never change. But at the same time, we tend to feel bored at routines, as time goes by. We always need something new that more exciting and happier than we already had. Humans are scary."

We silent again.

"Selfish..." I said softly, my eyes still wandering to anything but him.

I know he is staring at me right now, still with that intense look in his eyes.

"Excuse me, but... uhm..." A waiter come to our table.

"Oh my god. You have to close, haven't you?"

"Yes, uhm... I'm sorry that we interrupt your..."

"It's okay, oh my god. We didn't realized the time."

"It's past eleven." Jae grins, matter of factly.

"Okay, then... thank you for your understanding." The waiter smile to us before leaving us.

We gather our things. The rain had stop long time ago. I can't believe we took 3 hours for dinner.

"Sorry that you have to listen to that." Jae said while we're walking side by side in our usual road.

"I like it. I like listen to something that is not in my cup of tea. It's interesting. And you explained it so easily, it hits the back of my mind right away. Excellent." I smile happily, satisfied.

"And please note that I didn't tell you for you to be afraid to be in a relationship, or getting married, or to be with a partner of your life. I just want you to know that it can happened to be like that. If you facing some kind of partying later, just think that it can happened because of that. It's not always because your partner is wrong or yourself is wrong, no. It just... love is really something that will fade away. Change, if I can say it nicer."

I smile and look at him, "I just have to find things to prevent the partying, right?" I turn my body so I back-walk, still looking at him with smile on my face, "Child, sex, joint assets, joint investments, what else? I just have to obtained it." I smile bigger.

"Yes, find the attachment. Anything that attach you both."

We smile to each other. I turn back to my position, walking beside him.

"Thank you so much." I said when we arrived at my house.

"No, I thank you for accompanying me eat my dinner."

"Thank you for force me to accompany you." I laugh. "Aren't you hungry again? We spent 3 hours talking."

Jae laughs too, "Just make Ramyeon later probably."

I smile again, looking him in the eyes. Maybe Haru was right?

"Okay, then. See you around?"

"Yeah, see you around. Rest..."

"Don't study." I cut his sentences and we ended up saying it together and laughing at it.

I turn myself, takes two steps towards my gate but then Jae call me again. I stop then turn myself to look at him again.

"I... uhm... can I... have your number...?"

I smile then step closer to him again. He give his phone and I type my number in it then giving back to him without type my name. It's him that complete the job.

"Be careful until you get home, Jae. It's dark and..."

"Really?" He cuts my words and we laughing.

I walk and finally open my gate, giving him one time look while he shout "Good night!" and waving his hand at me.

I waving back mine to him.

Not long after I come in my room and put down my bag, my phone is ringing. A number displayed on the screen, makes me frown my forehead.

"Hello?" I pick it up anyway.

"Am I speaking with Aerin?"

Is this Jae's voice?

"Yes, is this..."

"I just checking if you gave me the right number."

I laugh, "Really...?"

"I didn't doubt you, but human is a source of any kind of error."

"Really...?" I still sounds disbelieve. I throw myself to my bed. "Are you home?"

"Not yet. Around 2 more minutes."

"Aren't you cold?"

"A little. Now that I walk alone, yes it's kind of cold and lonely and quiet." He laughs.

"So you decided to call me?"

"Perhaps...?" He laugh again a little. "Am I disturbing you from doing anything?"

"No, not really. I just got to my room thinking to take a shower."

"Okay, go shower. I arrived already." I hear an iron clang. Seems like he opened up the gate already.

"Okay, take care."

"You too. Bye."

Is smiling really necessary, Han Aerin? I asks myself in front of my mirror.

-

A message sent to the group chat.

_Jae: stage 2 completed._

_Sungjin: but it slower than me though_

_Wonpil: finally you have her number, hyung. I'm worried because it's not like you. It's been 3 weeks!_

_Dowoon: she's different hyung?_

_Brian: he plays some psychology trick to her_

_Jae: it's called routine. I creates a routine for her. A routine to see me._

_Sungjin: she'll get bored then_

_Jae: no, If we have attachments._

_Brian: and what is it?_

_Jae: we don't have it yet._

_Wonpil: what?! Hyung, be serious. It's not like your usual self, really! And I'm nervous to death about my money._

_Jae: she's a brainer._

_Brian: so you like it? *grins*_

_Dowoon: wait... like it in a real term? Not in the game term?_

_Sungjin: no way, Jae won't never do that_

Silence.

_Sungjin: ...right, Jae?_

_Wonpil: I am confused. But don't care if it's real or just game, I need my money back._

_Sungjin: really...?_

_Brian: oh it's interesting._

_Jae: I need to find the attachments first, guys. Calm down. Especially you, Wonpil. Give ideas!_

-  



	4. Chapter 4

 

I'm so sleepy I can't bear it anymore. I look at Haru beside me who still listen to Sungjin, the president of Student Council for the next period, talking about this organization. We're in the middle of freshmen's staff induction, where Sungjin explains about what job should be done for the next 6 months. For the most I can get by his speech, despite my sleepiness, our jobdesk is basically to help the main board members of Student Council in every meeting, events, and other problems solving that might happened during that period of time. If not received any instruction from the Person In Charge, then we don't have to bother about it, but our names still will be listed in every report, and this will be an advantage if we want to be in the main board position for the next period.

But now I feel sleepy to death. I went home very late after another talking session with Jae in the chicken resto last night. We stayed until the resto close again, just like before, we weren't realized it until the waiter came to our table. Our topic last night is basically a random psychology myths. Little explanations about why some colors give the same effects for some people, and how each one of them really has something to do with our brain. Like green mint for a relaxation feeling and decrease anxiety, Jae said. So that's why I always like green.

This sleepiness getting the worse of me, so I excuse myself to wash my face. Not that helping though. So I take different way to the aula intentionally, hoping that my eyes can open wider and my soul is awake. I kind of detour the aula once, walking alongside the window.

Suddenly my feet freeze on the ground, while my eyes scanning down the road from the window. The green color of trees flank the road welcomed me, giving me that familiar peace feeling that I like. I close my eyes for a while, imagining the cool breeze hitting my skin when I stand in between those trees. I will going home walking this road later, I make a promise with myself. When I open my eyes, I see someone, a man, running from the end of the road to the other end which lead to a white big building. A black ransel on his back matching with his black hair and jeans, making a good combination with his white shirt. The sleeves are rolled to his elbow. I can see his hair moving as he gets closer to the building which stood just beside this building.

I smile then reach out my phone in my pocket. Without really realize what I'm doing, I record him, still with smile on my face, until he finally get inside that building. I stop the recording then continue walking to aula, where I should be right now.

I see Haru still gives Sungjin a really intense attention before I finally sit on my chair.

"He's admirable." She said more to herself than to me.

I look up at Sungjin who smiles then waving to us before walking down the podium. Another person comes up, to give us a detail explanation about a reguler event that would be held in the next 6 months. She's a Secretary, with a smooth talking and really smart choice of words.

I glance at Haru, still fixating her stare on Sungjin who now sits a couple row in front of us.

"Are you not gonna make notes about what she's saying?" I nudge her with my elbow.

"Oh, right." She finally back here.

"Talk to him after this." I whisper while I start writing our schedule for every event.

"About what?" She whispers back.

"About one of this event. Make a move."

"Look who's talking."

I glance sharply at her in the middle of writing.

We focused again to another speaker, who is a Steering Comittee President. But I don't really listen to him and put out my phone instead. I play the video I took a while ago without turn on the volume, and smiling alone. Then I do thing that I might regret someday. Or not. I don't know.

I sent the video to Jae through our chatroom, along with the caption _'look who's running late to class'_. Then I put my phone in my bag to fully focus on the last person speaking at the podium.

-

  
_Jae: where r u? U following me?_

A message from Jae makes me smile right after me and Haru walks out from the aula.

_Me: unintentionally saw you from 3rd floor aula._

_Jae: done with the induction?_

_Me: yes, just now._

Then he calling me. Haru staring with a lot of questions on her face, can't wait to hear my progress with him.

"Lunch?" He asked as soon as I pick up.

"You're done too?"

"Yes, on my way outside. You?"

"Same. But I'm with my friend."

"It's okay. I'll bring my friend too. I'll wait at the entrance of your building."

"Okay, then. See you."

"Hm,"

Then we turn off our call.

"The story have to wait. Wanna lunch together with us?"

"So I can be a third-wheel? No way?!" Haru declines right away.

"He'll bring his friend."

"A psycho-student?" Haru's eyes somehow sparkling.

"I said don't abreviate it like that. It's creepy. Feels like I'm hanging out with a psycho all this time!"

She laughs, "Sorry, I forgot about that."

We arrived at the lobby and there is Jae at the entrance, standing with his back facing us. He moves his thumps fast on his phone, a ransel clung in his right shoulder. He frown his head.

But not long after that, as he can feel us coming to him, he turns his back, now facing me. He looks at me then smile. Wide. From ear to ear.

So sweet and cute and handsome at the same time that I don't know what to do. I wave at him instead. Feeling nervous suddenly.

"Hello, Sunbaenim." Haru bow politely.

"Oh, don't be like that." He taken aback. "Just chill," he grins, makes Haru smile and relax a little bit.

"Your friend?"

"He's in this building. Wait for a sec." He put his phone to his ear while looking at the lobby, searching for someone. "Oh he's here." Jae waving his hand and put the phone back to his pocket.

"Sungjin sunbaenim...?" Haru in shocked, her eyes open so wide the eyeball might popped out of it.

"Yes, a friend I most proud of." Jae pat Sungjin's back two times when the guy standing around us.

Sungjin smiles to us then we greet him and introduced ourself. Haru smiles from ear to ear when they're shaking hands.

"We're a team, let's get along well. Don't be afraid to asked anything, I don't bite." Sungjin says to break the ice.

We all smile to each other again before walking to the cafe near Psychology's building. They are a good Sunbae, really. They give us many advices here and there, explains many kind of terms we don't familiar with, and every words come out of their mouth is like a life-quotes. Haru likes Sungjin so much, she can't stop smiling.

We eat, talking, laughing, listening. Chatting with them is not just like any other talks I've been when I hang out. I used to be bored that I prefer to not attending any hangout invitations, but with them is different. Maybe because they're a senior who knows many things about campus life? Or is it indeed because of their bright and smart personality that moving us?

"Or maybe because their handsomeness that hypnotizing us." Haru said when we finally home, lying on my bed after shower.

And I keep thinking about how Jae took a couple of glances at me a little bit longer between our conversations today. And I can't believe myself for smile spontaneusly when that happened. Remembering it alone makes me happy. How Jae's stare is like saying something nice to me. And when he intentionally grin when I caught his staring, I just can't hold myself to not smile along with him.

And now, Haru is the one who caught me. "You like him that much, huh?"

"What?" I still smiling, feeling my cheeks redened.

"You're remembering our lunch today just now, right? Then you unknowingly smiling all alone because of that, like a weird person smiling by themselves. You used to mocking them, remember? Now you feel it! Karma does exist, Han Aerin! Ha!"

I smile wider, giggles though.

"And I feel he really likes you too. How's the progress? You two holding hands already?"

"No."

"But you're expecting it...?" Haru tease, looking me in the eye with that kind of smile. Her eyes is twinkling.

"How about you though? You can't stop smiling either in front of Sungjin Sunbae."

"At least I'm not naive like 'someone'. My feeling always the same with what my face's shows. I do like him. He's admirable." Then she wondering about him, head up, eyes look at the ceiling. "Is he still single?"

"You're an expert to collect information, why ask me." I laugh. I found out that Jae is single all thanks to Haru, too.

"I'm afraid that if I search him up I might found his picture with a girl. It's impossible that a smart polite handsome guy like him don't have a girlfriend. Aaaaaah!!!"

I close both of my ears.

"Quiet youuu!"

-

  
A message sent to group chat.

_Sungjin: something off with Jae._

_Wonpil: what happened? Is it about the game?_

_Dowoon: he's loosing her?_

_Sungjin: no, he doing great, but... something feels different._

_Brian: when you guys lunch together?_

_Sungjin: yes._

_Jae: the person you're talking about is actually a member of this group, guys._

_Dowoon: what do you mean by 'something feels different', Sungjin hyung? Please elaborate I'm curious._

_Sungjin: is Jae likes smiling?_

_Wonpil: Jae hyung likes playing games more_

_Brian: but lose everytime. Fortnight!_

_Jae: shut up Bri, you're cheating._

_Dowoon: Mobile Legend!_

_Jae: shut up Yoon Dowoon, you're just lucky._

_Sungjin: no, guys. this is serious. He's different. He smiling a lot today. Like... every single time?!_

_Dowoon: because he's with the target and he wants to attract her...?_

_Sungjin: no, it's different. I can tell it's different. You guys hang out with them, you'll feel it. It's hard to explain it with words by typing. It's so annoying._

_Wonpil: so, a good news soon?_

_Jae: I still can't find an attachment_

_Brian: is it you who want to attached to her?_

_Jae: shut up, Brian_

_Dowoon: oh! Seems true...?!_

_Sungjin: she clearly already fall for him, I inform you guys. But he prolong it. Why though? Wonpil should be win the money already._

_Wonpil: whaaat?! Jae hyung pleaaase I need my moneeey!_

_Dowoon: INTERESTING_

_Jae: it's only a month! Why so rush?_

_Brian: he liking it. He likes her, I knew it *grins*_

 

  
_Dowoon: he's not deny it...?_


	5. Chapter 5

 

I know someone sits right in front of me, but I just can't take my eyes off of my book. My hands also can't stop writing the ideas, so I don't bother to look up. Just like that for like a full 5 minutes. When I finally run out of ideas, I see that Jae is the person who sits there, in front of me.

And he just as immersed as me at his paper. He seems concentrating. Or faking it just to makes me feel what I did to him before. If my second guess is true, it's a cute of him.

I smile a little before back to doing my homework. And he still not bothering it too, so we still like that focus on our thing for the next 30 minutes.

By the time I finish, I put my head up and see him staring at me. His right elbow is on the table, hand holding his head, his books already closed and placed neatly in the edge of the table, and he's smiling at me right now.

"Done?" He whispers, still on that position.

"You're waiting for me?"

"Let's get out of here and grab some chicken."

"Chicken again?! You're a Chicken Little indeed!"

"Shhhh!!!"

I closed my mouth in reflex and Jae is laughing quietly, without a single sound.

 

 

"Can I call you Chicken Little?" I see him biting and stuffing a chicken wing to his mouth. I finish my bokkeumbap already and he still in a war with his chicken.

"Why?"

"Because you resemble it." I smile, trying hard to hold back my laugh.

"I used to hate it when people make nickname for me, but it's okay for you."

"Wow, really? I feel special."

"You are."

We staring at each other.

"If that means to be romantic, then your chicken wing is ruining it." I laugh at the chicken on his mouth.

He laugh too. "Let's not be too romantic. Remember that it fades faster. Do it naturally."

"Do it what?" I expecting it.

"Eat chicken wings."

We laugh again. So close, though.

 

 

A light rain fall just right after we left the resto. The forecast is wrong again. Thank god it's bearable, it just like a water-air-fan that blows on us. But Jae takes off his jacket and give it to me. I don't know why I wearing it so willingly like I'm expecting it.

Sound of water hitting the leaves becomes our only backsound for a while, until it mix with a cat meowing.

"Hear that?" Asked Jae.

"A cat?"

He already looking here and there, behind the trees and bushes. And I'm doing the same.

"Omoooo!!!" I shout when I finally found it. A kitty, alone behind one of the cherry blossom tree. It shivering with cold. And it meow once again when Jae stand beside me looking at it.

"Can you..."

But Jae already trying to reach the cat, crossing the roadblock. He should come down a little to some kind of hole where the cat is walking back and forth, meowing loud right now.

"Oush!"

Reflex, I hold Jae's left hand to prevent him to fall, because there is literally nothing solid for him to grab or hold. It must be scary.

"I'll hold you." I say.

"Hold me tight, okay? I feel like I'm gonna fall soon." He laugh a little before he squat down to reach the cat.

The cat's meowing sounds louder than before and it moves closer to Jae. Just like in a movie, the cat's paw seems like trying to reach Jae's hands.

"Again, just a little bit more..." he murmured, cheering the cat while he stretch his arm more, making me to hold him even more tighter.

"It's like a movie scene!" I shout when the cat's paw finally touch Jae's hands.

When Jae done to rescue the cat and come back to the road, I see the cat is like hugging him to find the warm, and the meowing is faster right now eventhough not as loud as before.

"She's shivering." Said Jae.

"Is it she?"

"Yeah." We both look at the cat with curiousity and pitiful.

"She must be detached from her family."

"Or intentionally left out." Jae said and we start to walking again. "It's common if the mother has so many baby at the same time. Besides, she has three different color."

"Means...?"

"It's just a myth, but 3 colored cat almost always left out by it's mother. I forgot the reasons, by the way." Then he laughs.

I laugh too, "You're not wikipedia." I look at the cat again who got sleepy and comfortable in Jae's embrace.

The rain has stop by the time we arrived at my house. After a long discussion, I agreed to give a shelter for the cat. Jae promised to help me raise it, because I really don't know anything about cat. I never had a pet, so I kind of awkward with it.

Now we're sitting on the couch in my living room, watching the cat drinking milk slowly. She still shivering eventhough we already dry her fur.

"First, she needs to be checked if she's safe to be a pet or not. She should be virus-free, so we need to take her to pet clinic. The sooner the better." Jae explains.

"I know a clinic not far from our campus's main gate."

"What time you done tomorrow?" Asks Jae looking at me.

"I just have one morning class. Should be done at eleven."

"I'll pick you up right away then. I'm free till 3."

I smile, "Oh, I feel like a parent!"

"Of course you should. Every person who has a pet must be feeling what parents felt. You'll learn many things too."

"I can't wait!"

Jae look at me again with that intense, and a little bit longer stare than he has too. But then he grin, "I'll help."

"Glad to hear that."

"And... Should we name it now?" He get up from the sofa to sit in the floor beside the cat who still licking the milk eagerly from the bowl.

"Sugestion?"

"I'm bad with names."

"Just call it with a simple one... like kitty? Katie?"

"Seth? Beth?" Jae looks at me and we both laughing.

"Oh, I like Seth!"

"Seth then." Jae stroking Seth's head.

"Drink as you like, Seth. Tomorrow you'll see a doctor, you must have a lot of energy." I following Jae to sit on the floor.

"Why girls always make her voice cuter if they're talking to a pet... or children...? Like, the tone is like a three note higher than the normal voice."

I laugh at his random question just because he heard me talking cute to Seth. "It just happened to be like that, don't complain. Besides, we talks cuter to our boyfriend too."

Jae still stroking Seth while lookig at her, but he is smiling at my words.

-

  
A mesaage sent to group chat.

_Jae: an attachment found._

_Wonpil: finally_

_Sungjin: you're slower than usual_

_Brian: it's because he liking it. He prolong it because he wants to be with her longer._

_Dowoon: but he still can see her even after the game ends if he wanted to, who forbid him?_

_Jae: guys. The person you're talking about is in the same group!!_

_Sungjin: RESPOND THEN, WE'RE CURIOUS!_

_Jae: I want to win_

_Wonpil: EVERYONE KNOWS_

_Wonpil: I want my money back!!_

_Dowoon: I want Jae hyung to be happy *smiley face*_

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

"Have a good day!" The cute cashier put his usual big smile after processing my purchase.

I smile back to him and can't help myself from asking about a laptop behind him. The screen is showing some kind of coding that IT student always doing, so it's taking curiosity out of me.

"Are you... perhaps... an IT student?"

His eyes got a little bit wider, "How did you know?!"

I look at the laptop behind him and he understand.

"Do you... perhaps... know how to launch a mobile application?"

"Coding base or software base?"

I open my mouth, completely confused. "I... don't... understand the difference...?"

"Coding base provides more stable app, and has more variations so it's suitable for freestyle design. But of course it has some weaknesses too. What do you need?"

I lean my hands on cashier table, grateful that Jerks is empty from customers right now. "Here's a thing. Me and my friends got an assignment about business-model. It's just a model, basically. But if we got a good respond from it, we will continue this model for the next assignment in the next semester. We got this idea about running an app for mobile phone that similar to Gmaps, but only focus on one particular search."

The cute cashier listen carefully, nodding his head as a sign that he understand. "And what search?"

"You know girls that wear some kind of... fabric on his head to cover her hair and neck?"

"A moslem?"

"Right. So, our country is doing great job in tourism that many moslems come visit many landmarks here. And the most difficult things they experienced while traveling here is to find a resto or cafe that serving 'halal' food for them."

"Pork-free?"

"Yes! You know they can't eat pork, drink beer and soju. And it's kind of hard for them to find cafe or restaurant that served halal food because they're not know the area very well..."

"So you want to make a maps that shows the location of halal resto or cafe in our country?"

"Yes. So... if this proposal have a good respond, we will make a run for it in the next semester. Just one area for the assignment. And if that really happened later, can we... uhm... come to you for a help...?"

"I'm a coding master." Brian grins, "But I have a booking-fee."

I smile, "Really? How much?"

"Haven't decided yet. How much you guys can pay me?" He asked back still with those smile of his.

"We're good no matter how much, we can divide it between us."

"No matter how much?" He grin playfully.

"As long as it's in reasonable measure, we're a student!"

"Okay, just send me your proposal, I'll study it first so I can say my price." He grin again.

"Okay, give me your email or anything. It's not finish yet, but I'll send it to you when it's done."

He grab a pen and tier a paper then write on it fast.

"And, first." I put one bottle of my juice I paid earlier on the table, then take the paper, read it fast.

"Have a good day, Brian! I'm Aerin, by the way." I smile for the last time.

He replied with 'have a good day too, Aerin.' before I leave the store.

  
-

 

"A cat? You raise a cat?"

"Yes, why? What's with the expression?"

"I mean, you never have a pet before. Do you know how to raise them?"

"Actually, no." I laugh.

"Where did you get it though?" Haru already take Seth to her embrace, and she wasting no time to stroking her head. Seth meowing and close her eyes, liking it.

"Behind a cherry blossom tree somewhere along the road back home. She's shivering under the rain, we can't leave her just like that." I close the refigerator and put two glasses of grape juice on the table for me and Haru.

"We?"

"Me and Jae." I sip my juice a little, sit on the kitchen chair. "He also promised to help me raise her. We took Seth to pet clinic yesterday and the doctor said she's safe to be a pet."

Haru come and sit right in front of me, "Speaking about Jae, Aerin... listen to me carefully, and please take this information with an open minded state. Okay?"

"Drink your juice first." I already prepare myself when Haru text me with 'something important about Jae Sunbae, let's meet ASAP' this morning.

After she took two gulps of the juice, she taking a long breath and released it little by little, preparing herself.

"Okay. You remember the exclusive club that my brother owned together with his friends?"

"Your brother owns a lot of clubs."

"It's the only club he runs with his friends. The exclusive one, you can't get in there if you're not know the owner, or a friend's owner, or a family member's owner personally."

"The Good?"

"Yes, that's the club I'm talking about. I went there yesterday, and guess who I met there? It's Jae sunbaenim..." Haru folds his thumb, "Wonpil Sunbaenim," she folds another finger. "Sungjin Sunbaenim, and the cute cashier at Jerks." She folds 4 of her fingers. "I am shooked. But it's just the beginning. I become more shooked when I saw them performed on stage, with one more cute guy who play drum. I mean, THEY ARE GREAT, AERIN! They popular, the band name is DAY6 everyone there know them, how can we and other students on campus not?!"

I smile then take another sip of my juice. I know this is not the important news she implied in her text.

"I'll look up about them more somehow tomorrow, but... back to the main information that I want to tell you. I sat with my brother's friends just behind their table after their performance and I kind of heard, unintentionally of course, about what their talking about." She takes a long breath again.

The fact that the cute cashier is friends with Jae and Wonpil and Sungjin is already a shocking info, by the way. And I just know his name yesterday, still haven't share that info with Haru yet.

"Their talking about a game, Aerin. A dangerous game which involves girls. They're take turns to date a girl in the decided period of time, and they're make a bet for it."

I stare at her in disbelieve. A questionable look forms in my face.

"I know it's shocking, and confusing. But that's what I catch from the conversation. And you know? This time is Jae Sunbaenim's turn." Haru stop talking to see my reaction.

When I frown my head, she distract herself to Seth's fur then she stroking it with such a concentration as her effort to avoiding my gaze.

"Did you think..."

"Who else?" Haru moving her hands in the air.

"Maybe there's another girl who's close with him right now..."

"That's worse then. If that's the case, then he completely a jerk."

I froze. My mind blank. Is he? Really?

"The guys were kind of like interrogated Jae that night. About how it takes so long for him this time. Jae Sunbaenim said he just found an attachment. I don't understand that, what attachment? But the cute cashier teased him that he is the one who need an attachment."

"Brian."

"What?"

"The cute cashier name is Brian."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" Haru shout, makes Seth jump from her lap.

"I talk to him yesterday. Actually, he's the IT guy I texted you about, to help us soon."

"What?! How can your campus life circled around them?!" She look at me in disbelieve. "Wait, it means you already acquaintanced with... 4 of them!"

"It's not my intention though! We met them one by one by chance, a coincidence."

There's one second full of silence between us.

"What if... they know you way before they met you? Think about it. You are Jae's target from the start, it means they already had an eye for you."

I sigh, "That doesn't matter now. If the game is true..."

"It is true, trust me. I heard it myself." Haru also sighing.

Silence again.

Really? I still can't believe it. My brain try to process the information from the positive side, but I can't find where the positive side is. And it only ended up with me hurting from this feeling. That, or...

"Wonpil Sunbaenim said that Jae Sunbaenim has not much time left." Haru added.

"They're not mentioned the exact time?"

Haru shakes her head. Then we staring at each other. She's worried, of course. It pictured in her eyes. She's the one who tell me to open up my heart, she was so happy about it. She listens to every story about me and Jae, now she looks at me with so much worry.

"It's not your fault." I already assured her.

"It's not what I'm worrying about. You're so happy when you're with him. I like seeing you all bright and smiley after you hang out with him." Haru stare at me softly. "You really like him."

"It's not that deep, Haru. We only know each other for almost two months. And there's still a possibilty the target is not me."

"So what you're gonna do? If the target is really you... what will you do?"

I sigh, "Let's just entertain them then?"

"What does it mean?" She lean her body to the table to be able to see me closer. Already curious with my statement.

"I won't let him hurt me or break my heart, I'll do it to him first."

Haru frown his forehead.

  
-

  
Informations that Haru told me makes me can't sleep. There's so many theories in my head right now and I just don't know which to believe. True that I really like being with him. He's smart and I like how we can talk to one topic to another, we never run out of topic to be talked about. He's kind and cheerful and full of energy and considerate. He always there like he just popped out in front of my face when I think about him before I come back home. And without I even realized, we almost walk home together everyday. That's just how much I like him, I let him walk with me almost everyday. I open my heart for him and just let him be there.

But my feelings still not that deep, I'm sure of it. I'm not gonna break by the time their game ends. My heart will be fine, I'm gonna be fine. I'll follow his game instead, I'll be a player too. Let's just see what will happend then.

Haru promised she will dig more info about it, I don't know how. Sometimes I worry about her ways of collecting informations, but she never disappointed. It's like the info itself comes to her, not the other way around.

  
-

  
A message sent to group chat.

_Wonpil: how can you guys be so calm about this?_

_Sungjin: because we bet him lose...?_

_Wonpil: *frustrated face*_


	7. Chapter 7

 

It's 9 AM when I storm out of my house to the pouring rain in my usual raincoat. It's raining hard in my eyes too, and my mind is blank. My other senses too. All I can think is just to get to Daegu as soon as possible. It's too long to wait for my father's assistance to pick me up, I can't waste any single time. Dad can leave me anytime, I should be there. He should see me before he go. Tears streaming down my face again, blurring my sight. I practically sobbing right now but the sound of rain is louder.

Someone turns me, forcing me to stop and turning me back by grabbing my elbow. Here he is, a guy who always popped out of nowhere.

"What's wrong? What happened? Where are you going?" He frown his forehead.

I sobbing in front of him I don't care anymore if he's faking his concern because of the game or if he sincerely concern with me.

"Why are you crying?"

"I... I need to go to Daegu..." I speak in the middle of my crying.

"Now?" He looks shocked.

"Right now!" My tears streaming down hard on my cheeks.

"Okay, calm down. I got motorbike, I can take you to the bus terminal faster. Will you wait for me?"

I nodded a couple of times, fast, still sobbing. I can't think straight.

"Wait me in your house, I'll come back fast."

I don't know which faster between waiting Jae takes his bike or me searching a cab. And, he ride a motorbike? Since when? But I'm not bother it and decides to wait him. I don't know what to do so I wait for him. The rain calmer now when he arrived. He got his raincoat on too. I took the helmet he lend me and I jump on his bike without saying anything.

He drives fast. So fast that the rain feels nothing on us. In the blink of an eye we arrived at bus terminal. The rain has stop, or is it not rain here? I don't quiet noticed. We get out of the raincoat fast and put it on his motorbike just like that, and run to the ticket booth.

"Daegu. For two." Said Jae to the woman behind the window glass.

"What? You don't need to..."

"How can I let you go alone? You're a mess." He's staring at me, and I can't say anything to deny him. I am a mess right now.

"It's going to depart in 5 minutes. You should run to gate 3. It's near, on the left." Said the woman, seems understand that we're in hurry.

"Thank you." Said Jae before holding my hand and we run to the direction the woman gave.

We're sit, out of breath by the time the bus depart from this terminal. My phone ring just right then, from my family's lawyer.

"Tell him to hold on. I'll be there soon, please." But the next sentences that I hear makes my heart skipped a beat.

I feel like I can't hear anything. My eyes can't see anything because of my tears. Mr. Kim saying my name again and again because I still can't speak even a single word. I feel like I can't breath too.

"No way. You must be lying. He said he will tell me when he want to go. There must be a mistake. Someone must be doing something to him! Did you checked all his medicine? His oxygen? His blood pressure? He said he will tell me when he feel like to leave me!" I shout in the middle of my crying.

Some passangers looks at me but I don't care. Jae is the one who apologize instead.

"Aish!" I throw my phone. It drop down the bus floor and I'm crying hard.

I cover my face with both of my hands, sobbing hard. A couple of minutes later I feel a hand on my shoulder, patting my back hesitantly. I still crying and keep my hands on my face, my head is look down now. Jae's pat on my back become steadier. Soft, but intense. Two more pats then he pull me to his embrace. If I think my cries will never get harder, it can. I cry harder, loud. Meanwhile the only thing Jae could do is pat my back, sometimes caressing my head too.

"I'm alone right now, what should I do?" I murmuring in between my sobbing. And sobbing even harder my shoulders moving up and down.

He doesn't ask, not bother with my voice that disturbing other passengers. He's not telling me to stop crying, he let me cry more. He just making sure that I know he's here with me right now by the moving of his hands on my back. Now he practically hug me tight. Promising that he'll still be here with me later.

 

 

I bow maybe for a hundred times already. My father's relatives, business partners, and friends are so many. They keep coming, I already standing almost all day long to greet them before they give their last greet to my father, who has become ashes now.

Finally my aunt tell me to get some rest, said that she will greet everyone for the last one hour. I see Jae still sit in one of the chair in this banquet room, doing something with his phone. He too, practically waiting there all day long, since we arrived here in the funeral home. And I can't help wondering what he's doing. He can just go and leave, he skipped all his classes today. Is this all just an acting, too? Really? Is he doing this far just for the game? I get confused again. I don't want to think about it, I feel like I have no energy to think about anything. I'm tired physically and emotionally.

He get up and put his phone on his pocket when he sees me walking out of funeral room. He walking slowly to me, his face is full of concern.

"Why you're still here? What about your classes?"

"I can catch up later."

"It's late, go home before the last bus depart."

"Are you... okay?"

"How can I be okay with this?" I try to hold back my anger. I'm sure something happened to my father. Something intentionally and bad and no one knows about it. Also no one would gonna believe me.

"Aerin..."

"I have no one in this world." I feel like I'm going to cry again soon.

"Cry, it's okay. Just cry. That's the best way you can do to let go of everything."

"I'll cry more when I'm alone. I've cry enough in front of you." I force a smile, feeling a little bit of embarassed.

Jae stares at me with pitiful face. "I'm so sorry for your lost. Really..."

"I know." I try to look away, to any things other than his eyes.

He's so mean if this expression and this stare of him are fake. He's so mean if this caring side of him is also a fake. He shouldn't be doing it this far if this just for the game.

"But you're not alone. You still have your father's relatives, they'll help you later as they are right now. You have all your friends, you have Haru. You have me. You can always come and talk to me, I will listen to everything you say, and everything you feel. I'll try to comfort you in all possible way."

I look him right in the eye, searching some kind of hint if this is an acting. If he already prepared this long sentences of comfort, if those are just an empty words. But I can't find it. I just see a sincerity from those small eyes of his. Maybe I already blind. I hang out with him too much.

"Thank you so much."

He sigh then silence creep in.

"But, go home, really. I still need to sort many things right here. I'll be back to Seoul in a couple of days."

He finally nodded. And to my surprise, he step closer to me and not stopping until I'm in his embrace. He pat my back again, just like he did on bus all the way here today. I move my hands on reflex, I didn't mean to doing it, but it just moves by themselves. I put my hands around his waist, feeling his embrace warms and relax me. Assuring me, somehow. And I put my face down on his chest, trying hard to not crying again. If this warm embrace is a fake too, he really are so mean. The real jerk.

It just happened so quick that I wish it last longer. But no, Jae never cross the line before I let him. And this is not the right time for it. We stare to each other and he moves his fingers on my bang, tidy it up. I feel confused again because these kind of little caresness of him is never felt like an act for me. Why? I always feel the sincerity behind every actions. Is he really just think of me as a bet? He shouldn't doing it this far, really.

"And... you should take care of Seth when I'm here. I'll text you the password of my house."

"I understand." He now swipe some tear that fall without my knowing on my cheek with his thumb.

When I mentioned Seth, why is this feel like parents who should separate and leave their kids alone with just one of them? Then it hits me right there at that moment. The cat is our attachment. Rather than the children or other things that he once mentioned, Seth is the attachment. What is this really? Is he planning it all from the start?

"Tell me when you're on your way back to Seoul, okay?"

I nodded my head and finally he take a step back. And that's when I see Haru standing not far from us, smiling at me softly. Jae follow my stare and understand.

"I'll go. Eat, okay?"

"Of course."

He smile with full of assurance one last time then turn back himself to leave. I see Haru bow and greeted him when he pass her. She walks to me after that and hugs me without saying anything, tight. And I kind of teary up again. She pats my back too, but it feel more like a support, not an assurance like Jae's pat. I love her so much.

  
-

 

A mesaage sent to group chat.

_Brian: all the way to DAEGU~_

_Dowoon: for all day long?!_

_Sungjin: is he doing it too far?_

_Brian: he cross his own line, isn't he?_

_Wonpil: just date her already! 💓_

_Wonpil: I can smell my money again_

_Jae: it's called moral support, guys_

_Brian: it's a spontanious act. Bet you didn't realize what you're doing until you arrived at Daegu *grins*_

_Jae: shut up, Bri_

_Dowoon: it's cute how Jae hyung never deny any of our assumptions_

_Jae: go to sleep Dowoon, it's late_

_Sungjin: you're the one who need sleep, Jae. Seoul-Daegu-Seoul in one day *clapping*_

_Wonpil: Jae hyung is SO COOL *heart eyes*_

_Wonpil: let's win this soon!!_


	8. Chapter 8

 

It took 3 days to settle all of my family matters. My father's lawyer has prepared everything before my father leaves, I just need to sign many documents related my father's assets. And in consideration of my age, my father's business will be runs by our relatives temporarily until I finish my education in Seoul. It's legally mine, but I know many relatives of mine want to steal it from me. My father's already prepared everything to guarantee that they can't do anything about it unless it's my decision. And we have all the legal papers to back it up. My father's lawyer, who now is my private lawyer, reassured me many times about that. No one can do anything without my permission plus BOD's decision in general meeting. And the member of BOD is very loyal to my father, he said. But still, people can change, and I'm still afraid of it.

I arrived at my house in Seoul around 7 PM. My father's assistance insist to accompany me for a couple of days but I decline it right away, said that I'm fine and everything's gonna be fine too here in Seoul.

I'm surprised when I see Jae sleeping peacefully on my sofa, with Seth also sleeping on his stomach, curling herself into a ball comfortably. Jae's steady breathing creates a relax atmosphere in this empty house. I texted him about my return so maybe he intentionally waiting for me at my own house since he knew the password.

It feels strange though, to be home with someone waiting for me. I never feel this even when I live in Daegu with my family. There's practically no one to welcoming me home, unless the Ahjumma's that doing our family housechores. But I don't want to remember about that.

I walk around my house in silence, not wanting to wakes up both Jae and Seth. I go to my room to put down my bag and change my clothes. Feeling hungry, I go to the kitchen, open my refrigerator, pull out some eggs and vegetables, tofu, meat, and kimchi. I want to make spicy kimchi jiggae with tofu.

I'm immersed with my cooking that I just realized Jae has woken up right when I put two bowls of kimchi jiggae on the table. He just staring at me sleepily from the sofa, putting his chin on top of sofa back, his hands hanging. Seth is sit so stable beside his head.

"Since when did you wake up?"

He close his eyes for a while, thinking. "10 minutes?"

"Had a good nap?"

"Perfect."

"Dinner?"

He grins happily, "My pleasure." Then he get up. His hair still messy as an after effect from sleeping.

And I like it. Damn. I sigh before I sit down. Seth jump on my lap and curling herself again, still sleepy.

"Everything good?" Jae asked, looking at me after he sits.

"Kind of..." I give him a smile hoping it's enough to assuring him that I am fine.

"Let's eat then."

I feel like Jae is intentionally avoid to talk about my father, seems like he too, want to believe that I'm okay. 'I just need to be there when she needs me' kind of feel.

We eat in silence for a while. Truthfully? It's silence that I like. Don't know why, it's comforting. After I meet many people in the last 3 days that always says the same thing (that they're sorry about my father) I like it when I finally get some peace from that question. I really don't want to talk about it anymore. Not because I can easily forget my father just like that, no. I still can't believe he's gone. But it suffocates me if I force myself to keep talking about him. Remembering him alone makes me feel a strange pain I never felt before. And knowing that I can't see him when I come back to my hometown later, maybe in the next holiday, is frighten me hard. My heart beating so fast imagining that.

"How to overcome a sudden change in your life?" I asked unknowingly.

Jae finish his chewing before answer my question, "Finish your food first. We'll talk about it in a comfortable way."

I can't debate him. I need someone to tell me what's inside Park Jaehyung's heart. What he feels about me? I want to know if he really doing this just to win the game. Because he's so caring it confuses me. Which one is the usual Park Jaehyung? 

 

 

"First thing first, how do you feel?"

"I'm fine." We sit on the fury carpet in front of TV that showing today's news. A blanket spread wide to cover our leg, warming us.

"We can't continue if you answer like that."

"What? I'm fine I just want to know how to overc..." I stop because Jae looks me with expression that say 'really?'

So I sigh, surrender. "I'm sad, of course. Angry. Afraid." I feel upset that I should say this myself in front of him, so I look down, my voice getting quieter by every word I spoke. "Confused. I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm alone right now, I have no families." I touch my own fingers nervously. I can't cry again, really. "But I'm not that depressed or anything." I look at him with full of assurance in the end.

Jae's lips form a smile, a really soft smile. A kind of smile when you believe in someone and proud of him/her.

"You do know that change... is the only constant thing in life, right?"

I answer his question after pause a little bit, "Life is all about changes. We're not moving forward if we're not change."

He nodded, "A sudden negative life changes, like break-up, divorce, financial loss, fired, even death, happened everyday. It's inevitable. Someone in another place might be feeling what you felt right now, be in the same situation like you right now. Because it happened everyday, we can't deny it."

I again, look down, now staring at random pattern printed in the blanket. Jae's words comes to me like a flood, I knew it though, but when someone really say it in front of my face like this...

"Wallowing in misery is not helping. Of course we allows to feel that, it's even normal to feel that, but to drag on that feeling for too long means we're not moving on. Accept the changes. What we need first is acceptance. Accept that maybe it really have to be changed, that nothing we can do about it, accept that change is inevitable."

I silent, still look down, let Jae's words absorbed in me. I sigh one at a time.

"And once again I tell you, people went through those changes everyday. There's someone somewhere around the world who experienced the similar changes. So never think that you're alone in this world. They can survived, so are you."

Jae hesitate to continue, but he continue anyway, "It's very normal to feel confused, sad, afraid, all the feelings you felt right now. It's completely normal, there is nothing wrong about it. In fact, we must feel it once if we're human with a heart. Sometimes later, we'll feel like we really want our 'normal life' back, it's very normal too. Just remember that these feelings are part of the grieving process and we don't need to repress it. Sure, it never gonna be the 'old normal' again, but we will learn, eventually, to creates a 'new normal' one."

Suddenly I remember about a quote I once read, "Humans can get used to anything, even hanging if we hang long enough."

"That's what my grandpa often says." Jae grins a little.

I smile softly. "But... how? And when...?"

"It takes time, Aerin. If we keep doing positive things to deal with it, eventually, the 'new normal life' will creates by itself. So it's how we acts to the changes that matters, not how fast." He sip his hot chocolate before continue. "Now, what should we do to reach that 'new normal life'?"

We stare at each other in silence for a full 3 seconds.

"Religious people will look at changes in a spiritual lessons. They accept the changes and believe that God will replace it with something better, they pray for it. But even if we're not that religious, we can still use the same way, by looking at those negative experiences as a way to figure out a lesson to grow as a person."

"I can't figure out any lesson from my father's loss."

"It mature you, Aerin. It's an opportunity for you to learn how to be autonomous, how to be strong, independent. It's an opportunity to learn how to make decision by yourself. You'll get used to it and one day, people will look up to you for it."

I gulp down, staring at him. Then silence again. Jae has this kind of method (?) to takes his time when he explain things to me. He's waiting for his words to be absorbed by his listeners, to be understood completely, so the listeners won't lost in his next words.

"Do you still can take it? I mean, if this still too much for you..."

"I can take it. I like it, you know."

He smile, "I know you are strong, Aerin. For make the grieving process easier, we need to focus to what we have left. Know that we still have our relatives, our friends, a place to stay, we still have money to keep up with life, we still can wake up every morning to do our routines, we still have many activities and tasks to be done with."

"I still have my father's business to be run with."

Jae smile again, "That's good. Find anything to focused on."

"I have to make sure that people can't take it away from me, but I should finish my education first. I need to learn everyhting before I can do that. I need to have credibility to be acknowledged by them. I have to show them that I'm worth it, that I don't give up things my father's built just like that. I won't, I will fight for it, really." A tear drop down my cheek, and I once again look down my head.

"See? You're already learn right now. You already understand what things you should obtain to creates your 'new normal life'. It's okay to cry sometimes, Aerin. People do the same, just not let yourself burried with that emotion for too long. We should get up again and embrace what we have." Jae pats my back again.

How come his touch on my back always feel good? Like it has this feeling of assurance, even when I'm not sure about myself. His pat is like telling me that everything indeed will pass and get better, while myself still feel the anxiety creeps in.

Why he should be like this? Why he should do this just for the game? Just for making me his girlfriend to get money? Why should he? Why he waste his time like this, if in the end later he will leave me?

Guess I need to prepare myself for another life-changing soon.

  
-

A message sent to group chat.

_Jae: I feel bad._

_Sungjin: about?_

_Brian: the target?_

_Wonpil: what?! Since when you feel bad about the target?_

_Dowoon: *heart heart*_

_Jae: I mean... she just lost his father_

_Sungjin: so?_

_Brian: you feel bad that she will loose one more routine?_

_Sungjin: you feel bad because you will messing her grieving process?_

_Dowoon: and break her even more?_

_Wonpil: who is this jerk we're talking about guys?_

_Brian: just lose then._

_Wonpil: NO!_

_Wonpil: please Jae hyung, I need my money._

_Dowoon: it's getting more and more interesting._

_Brian: I knew it the moment I chose her to be his target._

_Sungjin: then you're the real jerk, Brian._

_Brian: hey, I never thought she will lost anyone while we're doing this!_

_Jae: she's strong tho_

_Sungjin: then what you're worrying about?_

_Brian: his feeling itself._

_Dowoon: *heart heart*_

_Dowoon: Jae hyung, if you like her for real, do you want to listen to my advice?_

_Jae: no._

_Dowoon: well, I'll still say it. Date her for real after the game. Really. What's so hard about accepting your feeling? You're a master of it, Psycho kid. Don't just tell people to do that._

_Jae: GO TO SLEEP, YOON DOWOON_

_Brian: *grins*_

_Sungjin: but I still praying for your lose_

_Wonpil: I don't care about the real thing, you just have to date her in the next 2 weeks!_

-  
  



	9. Chapter 9

 

Jae was right. What he said about focus on what I do have left was right. I did that and let myself immersed with all my activities. Classes, assignments, council, and Seth. Yes, Seth also consuming enough amount of my time. She's behave, but she still an animal, so yeah. And in every time I spent with Seth, there's Jae helping me. We almost meet everyday this is really not healthy for me. It's getting harder to reject him in my life, really. He doing it so smooth, now he becomes like... one of my routine. A part of my 'new normal life'. And thinking about he gonna leave me soon makes me so anxious. I try to redeem myself to not loose myself everytime we together, but it's hard. I know it very well, the moment I start to loose myself, I will break and hurting in pain when 'the time he's done with me' comes.

But I'm a fool, apparently. There's always this tiny little hope that Jae will not gonna leave me. Hope that in the end, he'll decided to be with me for real, that he feel this like I felt it. I hope he as confused as me with this. I hope he think about it too.

So that's why I've been like running in a circle of my own emotions, can't find a way out.

Haru comes with another detail about Jae and the game. She had recording it this time, so now we sit comfortably on my bed, listening to a man's voice from her phone.

"...but Jae hyung acts different this time. He used to win the game fast, long way before the decided times. But this time... it's almost over but he still not date her.... yet..."

"Was he drunk?" I ask Haru who nodded her head to answer that.

"There must be something with the target, then." Haru's voice heard in the recording.

"Right. His target this time... is pretty much Jae's type."

I hear Haru laugh in the recording, then I give her a look, but not saying anything because the recording still playing and I want to listen more.

"Jae Sunbae's type?"

"A pretty smart girl. A girl who can response to his... weirdness... talking..."

"Fact is, you are as weird as Jae Sunbae." Haru whisper fast, but I can't do anything to reply to that comment because the man is talking again.

"I hope he can date her for real, though. Jae hyung looks happy after he met her."

"Who knows, right?" Haru trying to respond to that coolly. "I'm curious about something though."

"Speak, I'll answer all your curiosity tonight because it's my birthday. And Jae hyung is not seen anywhere here anyway."

"What he usually do after he officially date her? I mean, after he confess and the girl say yes, the game is end, but what he did to the target?"

"What else? He ignored her right away."

"Right away? Like... the day after the confession? The next morning?"

"Hm. He turn off his phone, keep the distance, stay out of the target's places she used to come. Another times, he telling the truth to the target directly to completely cut the relationship, then received a slap. It depends on his mood."

"That's cruel. That is what jerks do."

"We are, though."

"I really want to splash his face with water when he said that. He said it with a drunk smile on his face! Without even a single bit of guilt!" Haru get angry again.

The recorder stop.

"It's amazing that you can get this, really. How can you do that?! He literally don't know you!"

"He was drunk on his birthday, and the other are either dancing or picking up girls, I just sit beside him on the bar and talking to him."

"What is his name again?"

"Yoon Dowoon, the drummer. Student of Design Interior."

I give back her phone.

"So? What are you going to do?" Haru asked.

"I don't know... should I let him win?"

"OF COURSE NOT ARE YOU STUPID?!" She glares at me, "You should reject his confession!"

"If he ever confess..."

"He will. There's no doubt anymore about who the target is. It's you, 100%. I mean, who can following Jae Sunbae's weird talking and not get lost?"

I pinch her arm skin, the closest skin I can reach.

"Aw!"

"That's fun, though."

"See? That's what I mean." Haru dodge when I ready to pinch her again, and he forms a grin on her face. "To be honest, Aerin, I like seeing you both together. You're gonna make a cute CC, really. It's just..." She sigh once, "...why it have to be in this annoying game?!"

"It's our fate...?"

"No, in my opinion, if you two were fated to meet each other, I'm sure you will meet eventhough they're not having this stupid game. It could be a better scenario for both of you, though. It's just so unfortunate you being in this situation. And upsetting. And pretty much a nonsense."

"And confusing."

Haru glance at me. Shit, she caught me.

"You confused about his actions? Or are you confused about your feeling?"

I'm thinking for a while, "Both...?"

She frowns. "This is bad." She folds her hands on his chest. "You already fall for him."

"You're the one who told me to open my heart!"

"I never thought there'll be a stupid game behind it!"

I laugh. Haru laughs too.

"Should I worry you, Aerin? Tell me if this is serious? I mean, how do you really feel about him? You like him that much?"

I laugh it off, "I don't know. I like his accompanying and all the times we spent talking. He just so smart that I don't want to lose the chance to discuss some random topics with him in the future. He also a caring person, really. He went all the way to Daegu with me!"

"This is baaaad!" Haru shout, "He went to Daegu just to attracts you."

"Hey, who knows? He might be sincere, besides... I'm the one who's with him, not you, means I'm the one who feel the sincerity, not you."

"My Lord, this is really serious. Look, Aerin. I don't want you to hurt. The chance that he'll date you for real after the game is like 0.11111% according to what Dowoon said. So before you hurting in pain and regrets, my advice is, you should reject his confession. Say no to him, give him no chance to disappear from you like a jerk while you waiting for him to come to you the next day. Before he can do that, you do that first. Are you listen to me?"

I smile, "I won't hurting in pain and regrets that bad, Haru. I can handle it."

"Even if he disappear from you right away after you're dating each other?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again.

"Then where's the fun? You said we should entertain the spectators, but I'm not feel entertained at all. It's such an obvious ending, and you just like denying your feeling and yourself. And you're the one who will suffering in the end. You suffered a lot already."

I sigh, tired of this. "I still not deciding anything, though. I just want you to understand that if I ended up choose that scenario later, it solely because I feel his sincerity in one particular moment. Because I can't predict what I'm gonna do, too. I'm confused all the time, okay?"

Haru scrunch her nose, "Uuuh my baby, I'm so sorry. Come here I'm gonna hug you~"

And I jump to her embrace, "You just should support me for whatever I decided later."

"Okay, I'll get it. Even if you break and crumble later, I'll be here for you no matter what."

"You're the best, really."

"I know." Then we hugging each other tighter.

-

I try, really hard, to focus on my laptop and a paper I need to finish tonight instead of to Jae who is sitting comfortably in my sofa while stroking Seth. He didn't make a sound or trying to talk with me either, in order to not disturbing me from my paper. But still, it's me who finding it hard to do.

Jae is enjoying the movie though. Or he try to, I don't know because I can't see his expression, he sit on a sofa while I sit on the carpet down the floor. His silence stance that makes me assuming that he enjoying the movie.

By the time I finish my paper, with so much efforts to focus, I close my laptop and get up to drink my favorite grape juice.

"Jae do you want some?"

"Yes, thank you." He said without divert his sight from TV.

I'm back to sit on my previous spot, and put his glass on the table beside the sofa. Seth jumps from Jae's lap and comes to me. Now she curling herself on my lap and it's my turn to stroking his fur.

The movie ends not long after, and the room is silence now. Jae gulping the juice almost finish it in one go. And here comes the silence. A comfortable silence I always felt when I'm with him. Strangely, a silent with him always feel peaceful.

"Aerin..."

I look up, taken aback. He never say my name like that.

"Do you ever think about we ended up to be dating each other? I mean, is this what a couple do? Chill on friday night?"

Finally this topic come. I stare at him, my heart beats a little bit faster but I try to be cool and smile, "I don't know, do you?"

"Should we try it?"

I smile wider, "You just want my food."

"No!" He laughs then sit beside me on the carpet. "Your food is tasty that I always craving for it, but no. That's not the reason."

"So what's the reason?"

He thinks for a while, "It's fun being with you. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you'll respond to it. Also, a silent with you feels good."

He feels what I feel then? Is that true or just a part of his script to win the game? Here I confused again.

"Yes, it's a peaceful silent with you." Finally I just agreed to his statement.

"So we feeling the same thing."

"I really don't want to ruin this. I like talking with you, too. I'm planning to keep doing that for a long time. If we're dating, there's a chance a fight comes, a break-ups, a jealousy, an egoist demand..."

"But there's a chance of more fun and exciting feeling too. A chance that we'll last long, a chance to feel loved and loving each other. Even if we ended up break-up later, there's a chance to learn something from it, a chance to understand the pain of heartbreak. That's an opportunity too."

We stare to each other long.

I blink and stop my hand from stroking Seth, "So are you confess to me or what?" Finally I smile a little.

He smile too, "Come tomorrow night." He handed a paper to me.

I take it and read 'The Good, limited invitation' and more detail address. A bar Haru's brother runs with his friends.

"7PM."

I stare at him, feeling the texture of the paper in my hands, soft.

-

I still can't decides what should I do. Haru convinced me that Jae is going to confess to me there, but I don't know what to think. His eyes that night is so sincere. He stared at me with such sincerity. Why he has to be like that, really? It will easier for me if he obvious with what he feels. It's hard this way.

Haru greets me right after I come in. She walks to me and give me a hug and a little pat on my back, smiling in disbelieve at me like we met here as a coincidence when the truth is, she's here to give a mental support for me. And of course, she doesn't want to miss a scene that might happened.

I look around after our greeting session ends, and there he is. Jae, who already laid his sight on me, smiling when I finally found him. We walking to each other. He looks so good with a blue stripe shirt. All button open showing a white t-shirt underneath it, the sleeves are rolled to his elbow.  I cursed at myself, his hair is a deep black that the  lights reflect to it perfectly.

"You come!" He said happily when we stood to each other.

"Of course, you invited me. So it's the club's anniversary?"

"Yes, the first." He guide me to one of a chair. "You're so beautiful." He try to say it nonchalantly.

I smile before I sit. Jae order us a drink from a bartender who smiling wide, seems close with him.

"What?" I laugh shy because he keep staring at me.

"I'm sorry, it's just... you look different. Prettier and... I'm not mean it to be pervert, but you're hot."

I feel my cheeks burning, "I just wear a typical club outfit like everyone!"

"It's not typical at all when you wear it."

"Stop it, you're so cheesy. Is this a place to go cheesy all the way?"

"Yes, this is the place." Jae smile, wide, like... from ear to ear.

The drinks are served and I gulp down right away to hide my nervousness because of his words. Lord, help me. Please keep my sanity.

"You look good, too." I said then.

"I know."

"What?!" I look at him in disbelieve of his over confident.

The owner of the club comes up to the stage and people clapping and screaming for them and we stop our chatting for a while to focus on them. They takes turn to give speech, saying thanks here and there about this sustainibility of this club after running for a year. Eventhough this is like a private club, they have many loyal customers, who are their relatives or friends or acquaintances, so that the club still running good without major problems for a year.

"I'm a regular performer here, Aerin." Jae starts to explain things, leaving the owner's speech behind.

"Singing?"

"Yes, with my members. We play instruments too."

I look shocked hearing that information he just told me like I didn't know it already. "Every night?"

"No, of course. Just Saturday night."

"Shocking. How could I never knew that? You told me once that you pretty good with singing but I never thought you really performing."

"I didn't tell anyone from campus about it. If by chance someone knew it, it must be a coincidence that he or she is one of the owner's relatives or friends who came here at Saturday night."

I nodded, understand.

"It's a really private part of me, Aerin." We look at each other. "It's the first time I let someone from campus see this side of me."

I blink. My heart beats faster again.

"And to continue with what I said to you yesterday, watch my performance carefully okay?"

I smile, "Sure."

"Feel it, give it a chance. Give me a chance."

And by the time Jae finish his words, the MC is screaming "DAY6!!!"

Jae nodded and smiling to me for the last time before walking to the stage. Four other guys already walking up the stair to the stage where many instruments wait to be played.

I sigh, nervous to death. Why am I so nervous, really?

Haru sits beside me when Jae arrives on stage, standing in the middle then draping his guitar.

"Nervous, princess?" She tease me.

"What should I do?" I look at her asking for help.

"Follow your heart. I'm not pressure you." She give me a two steady nods.

Jae chuckles two times, checking the mic and his voice itself. Then they greeted everyone and introduce themselves.

"People who often come here might known us already, but for those who comes for the first time... hello, we are DAY6. A band who currently focus performs covering songs." Sungjin Sunbae make an opening speech.

"First of all, happy first anniversary to The Good~" Wonpil says cheerfully makes people clapping their hands.

"Hoping the best and long run for the club!" The drummer, Yoon Dowoon, shouts with a hand in the air holding a drumstick. People screaming as an agreement.

"And tonight is going to be a little bit different." The cute cashier at Jerks, Brian, grins happily. "Our member here, Jae, have something important to say first."

Jae chuckles again.

"So guys, please excuse me for a while. I kind of egoist right now. I want to make this opportunity to looks cool in front of one particular person. So I met her like... a couple of months ago..."

"Damn, this is romantic." Haru whispers right beside me.

Indeed. I reply her inside my head. My sight glued to Jae on stage. He is sparkling.

"We talked and hang out and raise a cat together..." people laughing, anticipating it. Already exciting. "It's really feel good spending time with her, so I thought... about to uh..."

Jae searching me in the crowd, and somehow he can look at me right through my eyes.

"...take this to another level."

"Yeaaah maaan!" Someone shouted happily then a round of applause filled this room.

Jae smiles, proud about his decision to doing this here. "So this is kind of my confession to her." The crowd screams excited again.

"You asked about my confession last night, so I prepared this for you." Then he nod his head once as a cue.

The lights go dim, leaving the blue light remains only on Jae. Everyone silence, this room is silence. He creates the atmosphere so perfectly. And my heart beats uncontrollably.

 

 _Don't blame me, love made me crazy_  
_If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right_  
_Lord, save me, my drug is my baby_  
_I'd be usin' for the rest of my life_

Jae's soft voice soothed inside the room, along with Wonpil Sunbae's soft piano following his voice one at a time.

 _I've been breakin' hearts a long time, and_  
_Toyin' with them all the girls_  
_Just to play things for me to use_

 _Something happened for the first time in_  
_The darkest little paradise_  
_Shakin, pacin', I just need you_

Now the sound of drums comes one at a time, setting the atmosphere. But that's not what I'm focused on. It's the lyrics of the song. I know it already, I've listen to this song once, but Jae's singing is like emphasizing every words. Is the lyrics conveyed of what he really feels?

He has been playing and toying with girls for a long time, but it's happening finally to him for the first time? The feeling of liking someone sincerely for the first time? The feeling of wanting to date someone in real terms, not only in game he'd been playing? Is this real?

I look at Haru and she just smile to me, and I don't know what's behind those smile. It's frustrating, honestly.

 _For you, I would cross the line_  
_I would waste my time_  
_I would lose my mind_  
_They say he's gone too far this time_

It's getting intense and I start to believing the lyrics.

 _Don't blame me, love made me crazy_  
_If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right_  
_Lord, save me, my drug is my baby_  
_I'd be usin' for the rest of my life_

Now the other members also singing the chorus in the background, the drums beats more steady and loud, and Wonpil Sunbae's cynthesizer heard one at a time, creating intense feeling. And Jae still emphasize every words of the lyrics like it's his own sentences. Like that's just what happened to him and he telling everyone in this room about it sincerely.

 _My name is whatever you decide, and_  
_I'm just gonna call you mine_  
_I'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby)_

 _Echoes, love your name inside my mind_  
_Halo, hiding my obsession_  
_I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your mickey_

Jae put the corner of his lips up, smirking and try to look at me after he successfully hit the high note.

 _And baby, for you, I would fall from grace_  
_Just to touch your face_  
_If you walk away_  
_I'd beg you on my knees to stay_

Now some electric guitar sound comes in the next chorus, making the song has a little bit of rock feel in it, unlike the original version that more gospel. It's from Jae, though. He's the one who plays the electric one.

 _Don't blame me, love made me crazy_  
_If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right_  
_Lord, save me, my drug is my baby_  
_I'd be usin' for the rest of my life_

 _I get so high, oh_  
_Every time, yeah every time you're lovin' me_  
_You're lovin' me_  
_Trip of my life, oh_  
_Every time, yeah every time you're touchin' me_  
_You're touchin' me_

And it really go so intense like we all open our mouth when Jae's high notes filling the room. But then suddenly it slows again leaving only their voices, no instruments at all in this part:

 _Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby_  
_I'd be usin' for the rest of my life_

_Usin' for the rest of my life, oh_

Following again with Jae's high note ad-libs. God I'm completely hypnotized by it.

"I already say that they're so good, but damn Aerin. This is so intense." Haru said exciting beside me. She's liking it.

They're back again to the chorus, but this time all the instruments comes filling each other. Jae is now focused to sing the ad-libs while the other sing the chorus harmonically to keep the gospel feeling of the song.

 _Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby_  
_I'd be usin' for the rest of my life_

They all sing that part for the last time with such a harmonization that makes goose bumps in everyone who listens, and yes without the instruments. How can they sounds so stable and that good? They must be good at singing individually.

The song ended, leaving the room in total silence once again. There's not even a single clap, because everyone gets so intense and holding their breath, waiting what will happend next. My eyes still glued on the shape of Jae under the shadow of light there on stage. Damn he looks more and more stunning than before. He panting for the last time before finally moves.

The light somehow following his step down the stairs and walks to my direction. Haru shifted herself away from me and I nervous to death once again.  
  
He walks confidently though, slow but steady. Eyes on me until we stand facing each other.

"Saw that well?"

"Hm." I smile, I can't help but smile to him, happy.

He smiles too, "So?"

I blink a couple of times I must be looks so dumb right now, starstrucking. "Ask me again."

Jae speak right away, "Wanna date with me? You call me Chicken Little, I call you mine?" He offers his hand and look at me smiling with full sincerity on his face.

"Okay, Jae. Yes, I want to." I takes his hand and he step closer. I must be insane right now. My lips and hands are like moving by itself. What did I just say and what did my hand just do?

And closer until our faces are just separated by an inch. Some people holding their scream, some failed.

"Today's mark the first day?" He asked again, his lips really close to mine.

"Yes, whatever." Then our lips touch. People screaming loud, clapping.

He squeezed my hand on his, softly. I frozen, can't move. Heart like dropping, and I can feel my blood rushing in my veins. Running wild.

He takes his lips off mine to stare at me, his forehead on my forehead. He doesn't say anything he just staring intensely at me, and we practically staring at each other right now.

"I like you a lot, Aerin." Finally he whispers that and put his lips back on mine.

I kiss him back this time, going insane with him. When his hands moves to my waist, I put both of my hands on his neck. He hugs me making not even a single air comes between us. I turn my head a little to feel his kisses more and he put more pressure to it. Now sucking it even. I can't think, and can't hear properly. Completely drawn in the kiss.

The next thing I heard is a piano played by Wonpil Sunbaenim happily. We're out of breath when he finally pull off. Jae staring at me then put his fingers on my face. He kiss my forehead once and long. Swaying my body somehow to his rythm, showing his excitement.

Congratulations, Jae. You just win your game. And I'm just a dumb who take your bait willingly.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Jae use to confessing is Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift, you might want to check that out. Actually, I kind of got inspiration from the song to write this story. I found a rock version cover for that song too, and I imagine DAY6 covering it :')


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will be on Jae's point of view for the rest of the story. It might ended in the next chapter :')

 

My mom's memorial day always took all day long. We're not only visiting her grave, but also held this kind of tradition to invite all the relatives and my mom's collegas to remnisce her presence. I don't get it though, why we should doing this. I personally think visiting her grave alone is enough to keep her presence in our heart, this tradition is just a waste of time. Well, wasting my time at least. But my father said this is also an opportunity to keep in touch with the relatives. Okay I understand so far, but her collegas too? What's the point? Just because my mom is a founder of mental clinic and foundation they working right now, my father planting a believe in their mind that this is an obligation they have to do as a part of the foundation's parties. Which I thought is stupid.

And I can't even touch my phone because he always give me a glare everytime I try to use it quietly. He always caught me though.

So yeah, I can't call or even sent any texts to Aerin at all today, right after my confession to her last night. Damn I still can feel her lips on mine, how soft but intense it was. And her hands on my neck, her body pressing mine. I'm dizzy and I want to see her as soon as possible.

Forget the game. I won anyway, she said yes in the last day of decided times, so it count as me winning the game. Wonpil is so happy about it, but so does the others eventhough they lost their money. Because they know I decided to keep dating her somehow, and they're happy about it. I never say it to them, they're just assuming things but they always right. They know me very well.

 

And now here I am, standing at library's entrance waiting for her. I call but she didn't answer she must be so immersed with her study, like she always been in front of the books. I like how she always apprreciates the book she's reading by ignoring other things around her.

She always finish at 9, so I wait her outside instead. Just a couple of minutes away. And when she finally on my sight, I smile to her, she looks surprised to see me here.

"Done?" I asked as usual. She still pretty even after did another battle of study.

"Hey, Jae. You're here."

I smile, "Let's go grab some chicken first, I'm hungry." I hold her hand and about to walk when she stops me.

She stood in her place and looking at me with a strange expression I never saw from her, and she pull off her hand from my grip, "I need to tell you something."

"What happened? Are you okay?"

She sigh one time, "About last night, Jae..."

I wait, facing her. Why my heart beats faster though? And what about last night? We're together right now, right? But what about this feeling of anxious...

"I think it shouldn't be that way." She said.

And I'm confused. "What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't have said yes." She said firmly.

I just frown my forehead.

"I made mistake."

"What?" I look at her in disbelieve.

"This is wrong, this is not what I thought would be. I should be focus on my study, not romance. I made mistakes."

I open my mouth, completely taken aback by her words, "You kissed me back." I try to not shouting. Is this some kind of joke?

"I shouldn't have done that too. Hell, I shouldn't have come at all."

I froze. My mind is completely blank, my heart beats faster, wilder. Is this how it felt to be dumped? Really? Should I slap her like any other girl slapped me everytime I did this to them? Is this some kind of karma?

"I'm sorry, I just... can't. We're so good being friends, I think we should stick to that."

"No, wait." I smile in disbelieve. "You like it too."

"I like being with you, yes. All this time. But not in romantic way."

"This is not too different with that, Aerin. It's just like some official term to name us, to name what we've been doing all this time."

"No, Jae. Being in a relationship is a commitment. And I'm not planning to do that in the near future. I want to focus on my study."

"What happened? Something bothering you? We can talk about it."

"Nothing bothering me." She walks leaving me.

"Wait, Aerin." I following her, grab her hand again but she brush it off just like that. "Do you hate me?"

"Probably."

"Why? Am I do something wrong?"

"Ask yourself." She try to leave again but I run pass her makes her stop again. "Please just let it done."

"Let what done? We just started it. I can't let it pass just like that. You kissed me back, you said yes, but now you want to cancel it all you want?"

"I said it was a mistake!"

"I know that it wasn't! I felt it. You felt it, too!"

We both shouts unknowingly.

"You're gonna leave me anyway!" Finally she let it all out. "You won, you're gonna leave me soon anyway, why bothering this?!"

And I taken aback again by her words. I try to form a sentence, a question, a denial, anything. But I don't find what I should say. She knew? She knew about the game? She can't be.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean?" I smirk a little, trying to act nonchalant, hoping that this isn't real for the last time.

"Stop your acting, Jae. Just stop this, stop everything. You don't need to act all caring again to me. You're done. The game has ended, hasn't it? I let you win, now leave me alone!" She's leaving me, holding back her tears.

Just like that.

And I'm too shocked to runs to her. Too shocked to try to hold her back. It's karma, isn't it? I just stood there by myself for the next 5 minutes. Trying to think, but my mind is blank. I don't know what to do. My heart still beats faster. I completely lost. Is this why she not call or text or looking for me today, unlike the other girls before? Since when she knew about it? How?

It doesn't matter anymore though. She's already made a decision, she was sure of it. Her face tell it all. We're done. I'm done. The game has ended, indeed.

Is break-up always feel this bad?

-

  
"I thought you decided to date her for real?" Dowoon asked when he saw me at our usual practice room.

"I am." I answered him nonchalantly, focus more on the game I've been playing for two hours long already.

"Then why you'e here? It's friday night." He said matter of factly.

I sigh, lost again in the game. I threw my phone somewhere on the sofa, then lie myself there. No one know the story yet. I successfully keep silent about it for a week. It had been like a calm-state after a devastating earthquake for me this past week. Sure there's broke things every here and there after the earthquake, but it's calm finally. A relieved calm, eventhough I don't know what I should be relieve for.

I miss her so bad instead. I created a routine for her to get used to my presence but now it's me who's longing that more. I miss stuffing my mouth with chicken in rainy day with her watching in front of me, laughing. I miss the talk. Her voices and giggles.

I'm a mess.

"She knew." I said finally, can't hold it in alone anymore.

There's silence while Dowoon thinking about what I mean by that. "Knew about what?"

"The game." I still answering him with myself lying on my stomach, a hand hang loose from the sofa to the floor. I close my eyes.

"What?!"

I just nodded my head two times.

"How? When? Since when? What happened then? So you two..."

I sighing. "I don't know how. Apparently, she knew it all along, before that night at The Good. And now we're done. She said she's done with me the next night." I speak still with my eyes shut close, feeling her sentences once again, replay it once again in my head.

"What?!" Dowoon still shocked by it. "How can you be so calm about this? It means she knows our game, and maybe everyone too?! Why didn't you say this earlier to the others? Is the olders know by now?"

"This is the first time I talk about this."

"Hyung! Isn't this an emergency situations? It's Brian hyung's turn, what if everything messes up too?"

"She's not that kind of person. She won't tell everyone on campus about it."

"You don't know her!"

"I know her. I understand her. I know her very well. I know what's she like. I almost spent my time with her everyday for 2 months!" I open my eyes finally, let the light comes in.

I see Dowoon walking back and forth from the corner of the room to the other corner.

"So you're not seeing her at all after that?"

"Not at all." But I'm dying to, I said in my head.

 

 

"So how's it feel?" Asked Sungjin to me when we all gather because Dowoon can't stay as calm as myself to handle the news.

"What?"

"A break-up. You finally feeling it." He grins. So does Brian.

I sigh, "I'm a psycho student, I know how to handle it."

"I'm asking about how's it feel? Not how you handle it."

I blink my eyes a couple of times. "It's like a sudden earthquake when she ended it. And just like what you felt when an earthquake happened, afraid...? The feeling that you might disappear soon, the feeling that your loved ones might be the one who disappear instead. That kind of afraid."

They all silent.

"I think this is serious." Wonpil is the first one who whispering to break the silence.

"Afraid of losing." Brian said understood, nodding his head.

"He really likes her." Dowoon said matter of factly.

I'm not deny it. I never deny it even when they teased me about it during the game. I do like her. A lot. I confess it too to her that night. But maybe she took my words just as an act to win the game. Maybe she wasn't feel my sincerity, or maybe I wasn't showing it enough to her. I sigh. Regrets are the only thing left right now.

"But this is not what we should worry about, isn't it? She knows, hyung. She knows about our secret game." Said Dowoon again, matter of factly.

"She's not gonna do anything about it." I said.

"How did you know? How can you be so sure?" Wonpil asked.

"I know her. She's not that kind of person."

"She knew you played her all along before you confessed to her that night in The Good..."

"That is my assumption." I cut Sungjin's sentence.

"But she didn't say anything to you, or act differently when you two were together..." Sungjin doesn't listen to me and continue saying his thoughts. "She did everything with you like there's nothing happened, like she's innocent about it. And you didn't realized it, did you? Now, how can you be so sure that she's not gonna do anything regarding this?"

"A leader of Student Council, indeed." Wonpil whispering by himself and Dowoon nodded to it.

I have no words to answer him. He's right. He's not even in Psycho's faculty, but he point out that perfectly.

"We should find out." Brian said.

"How?" Wonpil laugh, because Brian said it like it was an easy thing to do.

"About that, I have no idea." Brian grins, moves his shoulders up.

"How come she knew about the game, though?" Wonpil asked again.

"Forever mystery." I said.

Silence again. Everyone seems to be drawn in their thoughts.

"How about you though?" Sungjin aksed again to me.

"What? I'm fine, I said I can handle it."

"He miss her." Dowoon is a master of saying facts.

Everyone now staring at me.

"When Jae hyung playing the game, I just care about his winning and dating her as soon as possible. But the truth is, I saw how happy he is after he spent time with her. I never see Jae hyung smiling widely like that, so I kind of like her. Now when I see him..." Wonpil look at me, everyone waiting for his next words, "...he looks so devastating. Soulless. So contrast if we compared to him a month ago."

"Agreed." Brian aggreeing right away.

"That's why I asked about his feeling." Sungjin seems to feel it too.

"Just talk to her." Brian suggest.

"Apologize. Tell the truth. Your real feelings." Dowoon give another advice.

Sungjin lift up his corner lips, "Do you remember the lyrics guys? ' _If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay_ '." Sungjin sing the song I use to confessed my feeling to her.

"Did you beg on your knees already?" Wonpil asked.

"No, of course." Dowoon is the one who answered it.

I sigh once again, "I have no courage, okay? I'm a jerk..."

"We knew it already." Sungjin comment quietly, Brian smirking at it.

"...how can I do that shameless thing?"

"People do shameless thing for their loved ones. It's pretty normal." Wonpil assured me somehow.

"What's wrong with you, guys? Since when you care that much about my love life?"

"We always care about each other! It's just you're very pitiful right now. And this is the first time it happened to you." Dowoon speak again. I really want to hit him once, really.

"Okay, stop it guys. No more pressuring Jae. Let him do what's best for him, okay?" Sungjin moving on to the main topic. "Now, what should we do about the leak information of our secret game?"

"A true leader of Student Council, indeed." Wonpil said again, and Dowoon too, nodded again.

-

  
I see her running under the rain fast to the store. She seems in hurry, so she's not paying attention to anything around her when she walks in the store. Including me, who's sit beside the window in the corner of this store, waiting my ramyeon done being cooked. There is this urge to greet her, to talk to her, but I hold it in. As hard as I could.

She's walking directly to the raincoat stall, grab one, then go to the cashier fast. She really in a hurry. And she seems fine. Not as broke as I am. Of course, she's the one who dumped me, right? Of course she already prepared herself, so it would be easier for her.

"I sent our business plan to you, for an assignment we talked about the other day." I hear her voice.

After almost two weeks I finally hear her voice again. It makes me sharpen my sense of hearing.

"You still want me on that project?" Asked Brian surprised.

"Of course, you don't want to do it anymore?"

"No, I don't mean it like that. I just uh... I thought you're gonna cut all your connections with Jae."

"I want to. But I really need an IT student for this project." She said it with a little bit of anger in her voice.

I understand that anger completely.

"I'm sorry..." Brian say.

"For what?"

"I'm the one who recommend you to be the target."

There's a long silence.

"Doesn't matter anymore. It was fun though, being with him."

My heart skipped a beat to that.

"You still angry with him?"

"I never angry with him. I knew about the game a long way before that night in The Good, but I let myself drawn in it. I should be angry with myself."

Another silence. This time is Brian who loss for words, apparently.

"You knew it all along, but you play innocent about it?"

"Is that wrong?"

"No. Of course not. It's completely your right about how you reacts with the information. It's just... is that mean you're not any better than him? You guys playing each other then?"

"What? You're saying that I'm doing the bad thing too? You guys all are the one who plays that game. You are the one who doing bad things. But now you're saying that I'm doing the same? That game is mean, bad, stupid to begin with. It's dangerous, how can you guys play with someone's feeling like that?!" She raise her voice by one octav.

I sighing again.

"I'm just played along with it. Rather than feeling hurt and dissappoint the moment I know about that game, I prefer to play along with it. So I don't break. I keep telling myself that everything he did for me is just an act to win the game, with that, I hypnotized myself so when he's done with me later, I won't feel hurt. Because I knew it all along. He didn't feel hurt too, because he knew it from the start that it was just a game. That's how you guys played it all this time, right? You're all get close to a girl on purpose, with a reason and a specific goal in your mind, you knew it from the start, so you're fine, don't hurt at all when it's finally done. You continue living your life just fine. I'm copying your way in order to prevent myself from hurting."

She let it all out. Really, all of it.

"I just like being with him that much to the point that I can't stop him before the game ends. I like his companion, and the conversation with him. So I play along, acted like I didn't know anything. I want to keep him as long as I could, okay?"

"I... really am... sorry."

"It was hard for me, too." Her voice soften.

"I'm sorry." Brian whispers. "But why you have to break-up with him?"

"If it's not me, then he's the one who'll dump me, right? He wasn't call or text me all day long after that night, he's gonna disappear from me without a single word, right? I realized it right then, that the game has really ended that night. So I get back to my senses. It's getting out of my control after the kiss. I feel like I really going to break if he really dump me. So I should be the one who dumped him first. It's better for me this way."

A silence again.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this. It just... suffocates me, I can't tell this to anyone. I used to talk about everything with him but he's the source of this complicated feeling and he's gone. I'm sorry."

"Wait, Aerin."

"I should be in class right now."

"I know my price now."

"Do you really have to talk about it right now?" She sounds annoyed.

"Yes, it has to be right now. Here. It's my price."

A little silence, then she left without saying anything anymore. I watch her put on her raincoat fast, as if she was trained to do that everytime rain falls. Then she runs through the rain. Leaving me lost appetite.

"You heard, right? Heard it clearly, right?" Brian asked loud so that I can hear him.

"I really am a jerk."

"And I'm making an opportunity for you to fix things up. That shameless thing we talked about the other day... you really need to do it."

-

  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still in Jae's point of view.

 

_Sungjin: Your girl might be in danger. Vierce, 2nd floor. Red Gae._

I frown at Sungjin's message. Red Gae is our secret code to named the bad guys on campus. If Aerin thinks me and my friends are jerks, then Red Gae is worse. They play dirty, forcing, threathening, even using sleeping powder to get girls laid with them.

I sighing. I know Sungjin very well, too. He won't let anything bad happened if it's under his supervision. He's in some kind of team dinner after sucessfully finishing an event, so I know Sungjin won't let anything happened to every member of Student Council right now. That message is just like giving me a chance to looks cool in front of Aerin if anything bad really happend to her. To be her knight.

My friends... they're really do anything for me to be together with her.

But I go there anyway. Aerin's name become a sensitive word for me recently. All the things related to that name will moving me undoubtly. I don't know how that happened too. Maybe it's because I covered in guilt, or maybe I still can't move on from her. I shouldn't be like this. I used to forget all the target I've been played after winning the game, though.

But Aerin is different. I like her so much. A lot. I never felt this sincere in my entire life. Sometimes when I coincidentally saw her somewhere around campus, my heart still do this 'thump thump thump' thing and I can feel it. And there's always this urgent feeling to talk to her. But the guilt is bigger than my gut. How dare a jerk who hurt her asking for an apologize and a second chance? How dare I asking that to her? I should be punished for all I did to her. Damn, all the guys in earth should be punished for every mean thing we did to girls.

The place Sungjin mentioned is big, a mix of restaurant and karaoke room, and Sungjin's team rent a whole second floor. The music played loud, there's a group of people singing and dancing. Some of them already drunk, people chatting everywhere, laughing. Some guys try to attracts some girls. It's team's dinner after all. They worked hard and this is their relaxing time.

I search for Aerin though, but I can't find her. I sit on one of the empty chair in the corner, the most quiet place here, trying to send a message to Sungjin, who's talking with a group of girls right now. He must be lecture them with some kind of things about leadership. Right before I focus to my phone, I heard a guy's voice shouts her name.

That is the Red Gae Sungjin talked about. And Sungjin glance at me, I don't know when he realized I was here though. I see Aerin walking to his direction. Alone. Haru is in the group of girls in Sungjin's table.

"Let's sit with us here, and take this. Oppa specially made this mix for you, it's so tasty." Said the Red Gae, almost drunk.

Aerin smile, sit, but didn't take the drink.

The Red Gae insist, handed the glass to her but Aerin rejects it. Saying that she already drink so much, saying she has class tomorrow morning. The Red Gae upset because of that, he hold Aerin's wrist and force her to grab the glass, then he forcing her hand to move to drink that.

I walk fast without thinking, and grab his hand that holding her wrist.

"She said she doesn't want it, does she?" I glaring at him.

"Who are you? Why you here? Is he our team?" He asking his friends in this table, and everyone shook their head.

"Don't force a girl like that." I throw off his grip from her wrist, spill some of the drink from the glass in Aerin's hand.

"Who are you, though?!" He shouts and get up from his sit, some people from different table looking at us.

"Can I talk to you in private?" I ask Aerin, not giving Red Gae any more attention. I just want to take her away from here. I know she doesn't like to be here, too.

She gulping and staring at me before get up from her sit. She walks to another corner of this room, turn left to the toilet sign. I sigh and follow her. The Red Gae shouts angrily to me, but I don't care.

She's waiting for me right in front of the toilet door, her back lean on the wall, looking down. When she felt my presence, she lift up his head to be able to see me. We just staring at each other for a full minute. I don't even know what should I say to her, I just want her to go out of this place.

"Aerin, I'm..." I stop, she still staring at me. "Are you drunk?"

She put her head back until it touch the wall and close her eyes, makes me see her soft neck. How do I know her neck is soft?

"Maybe...? It's team dinner, people get drunk, it's normal."

"Listen, he's bad, very bad."

She smile a little still with her eyes closed, "A jerk recognizing a bad guy?" then she open her eyes to look right at me.

Damn. She's hot.

"Let's go home. I walk with you."

"I'm with Haru."

We stare again at each other.

"She got a car, she's not drunk." She try to reassured me. "I'm fine."

You're not. I said it in my head. If she's fine, she can control herself and not let herself be this drunk. Besides, she said she has morning class tomorrow.

I sigh, "Okay, just try to avoid him, okay. He might put something on the drink, don't drink anything anymore."

"Why you care?" She staring at me intensely, demand an answer.

"You know I always care for you."

"But that's just for attract me to you. For the game."

"Says who?"

She silent and looking at me in confused. She blink once, then twice. "Who are you? Who is the real you?"

We silent again. But that's because I don't know how to answer her.

"Oh my god here you are!" Haru shouts with relieved. "Oh, hello Sunbae. How can you be here?"

"Just..."

Haru clears her throat, "So... you want to take Aerin home or...?"

"No, we'll go home together!" Aerin cuts Haru's words.

"Oh, I thought she's drunk already." Haru say in whisper.

"I'm not that drunk." Aerin mumbling.

"Just drive straight to home, okay? Don't stop somewhere else." I said to Haru.

"Of course, Jae Sunbae." Haru smile to me like she's hiding something. Her smile is like means something.

But I can't catch it.

"Let's go?" Haru asked Aerin who nodded her head right away. "Good bye, Sunbae. And thank you so much."

Aerin give me one last look and I feel the urge to hug her or pat her back. I want to talk to her. I need to talk to her about the game. I want to tell her about my real feeling to her. I can't hiding like a coward anymore. I'd beg on my knees until she believe me.

Later, when she's sober and on her right mind.

-

  
Brian set this up, said she will definitely come here today. And yes there she is. Waiting calmly in one of the table beside the window. She look at me a little surprised because I clearly is not the one who she expected to come. She's waiting for Brian to talk about their project, but Brian said he intentionally set this for me to fix things up. So here I am, walking to her nervously.

She keep staring at me until I finally sit in front of her. She gulps down, her fingers moves lightly and randomly around her cup.

"Hey," I greet her with an awkward state. I don't know how to start this. I practiced my sentences again and again in front of mirror, but they're completely gone right now.

Her expression is unreadable. I really can't tell if she's upset because it's not Brian who showed up, or if she somehow happy to see me. Or if she hates me so much.

She clear her throat once, "Hi." She finally speak. "It should be Brian though."

"He won't coming. He set this up for us."

"I knew it the moment I read that paper." She mumbling to herself annoyed, sounds more lively.

"Look, Aerin, there's really something I need to tell you."

She looks at me, searching something. Sincerity? Something she can believe?

"Thank you for the last time at Vierce, though."

"Ah, about that... you really need to watch out from a guy like him. I have a list of them, you should memorizing them, and try to not involve in anything with them."

A full seconds of silence, with her staring at me with... amazed?

"Okay." She said softly then, moving her fingers again around his cup.

"Aerin, I'm sorry. I really am... sorry. For lying to you. For making you a bet." I look her in the eye, hoping she feel my honesty.

"Do you... usually apologize after did that? To the other girls before me?"

I gulp down, looking down my head, "No, never."

"So why you doing this right now? Am I just like any other girls you played?"

I get up from my sit, walking and stop beside her chair then begging on my knees. I can't believe I really do this shameless thing. I know people are staring at me right now, but I don't care anymore.

"Because I like you." I look up to her, she covering her mouth with both of her hands trying to hide her gasp. "I've said it that night, I really like you. A lot. I thought you felt my honesty in it. I don't have a plan to leave you soon, I'm not thinking about dump you after that night. I'm being honest with you. I thought you felt it."

"Stand up, Jae. You don't have to do this."

"No, until you forgive me."

"I forgive you already. I forgive you even before that night. After I knew about that game, I forgive you around that time. Maybe that's why I play innocent all along."

I frown my forehead.

"Now get up." She lend her hand to me.

I stare at her before I took it. And squeez it. "You did?" I stand up and sit back on my chair without took off her hand. Our hands on the table right now.

She nodded her head.

"But... you break-up with me."

"Because I thought you're gonna do it too."

I open my mouth, can't thinking of any words to comment to this.

"The game has ended that night at The Good. The game ended the moment I say yes to you. Right? So according to my informant, you'll be disappear without a word to cut the relationship just like that."

"Who is your informant, though?"

"You don't have to know that. It's accurate, so I believe it."

"Well, your informant clearly doesn't know what I feel about you. He, or she, just making assumption about my feeling."

"It's not an assumption, it's a track record. He say it based on track record."

"He? Who? My friends?"

"You don't have to know." She said annoyed.

"Okay, relax." I squeeze her hand again. I really don't want to mess here, too. So I should be careful about what I'm saying.

"You really disappear for all day long, and just popped up that night in front of the library. That time, I thought you were finally made up your mind to dump me directly. If that happened, I'm sure I'm gonna crumble and hurting in pain, Jae. I already prepared myself for that, long before you confessed, but after you kissed me that night, I really have a high hope that you're honest with me, that you're gonna do this for real with me."

"I do!"

"Then where are you all day long? You're not call me or anything, you nowhere to be seen. I come to Jerks asking about you to Brian but he didn't even know, and I'm not sure if he telling the truth or if he lying to help you. You guys are friends anyway."

"I'm in the middle of family matter, very personal, I can't tell you right now. It's really... personal."

She searching that again, my sincerity. A sign if I'm saying the truth.

"I swear."

She gives up, moving her lips a little bit before saying, "Okay."

Again, I squeeze her hand softly. "So, we're good?"

"What took you so long though? You took 3 weeks to finally say this? You should hold me back that night in front of the library, instead of frozing like a fool."

"What?! That's because I'm shocked. You suddenly said you made mistake, you said you knew about the game out of nowhere, how can I still think straight to that? And I respect you. I respect your decision, and I acknowledged my position. I lied to you and hurting you, I'm covered in guilt. And this took 3 weeks because I'm a coward. I keep telling myself that I have no right to asking for a second chance from you."

We stare at each other again.

"Wait, so is this just a test?"

"Really a fool." She sighing, trying to pull out her hand from me but I holding it tighter. She looks me right in the eye.

"So I pass?"

She sigh again. "That game is stupid, and mean, and bad. Why you guys playing it? Are you that bored that you should playing that?"

"It's an opportunity to meet the right one. I met you through the game."

She glares at me and squeeze my hand this time, hard. Annoyed. I smile though.

"So we're good right? The mistake is not the night at The Good, but the night after it, right? You cancel your decision to dump me that night, right?"

She still glares at me, upset. But I know she already cool about it.

"Seth missed you." She say finally.

I smile, "Just Seth?"

"Just Seth."

I laugh a little, "Okay, just Seth." Now I rub her skin with my thumb. "I miss you so much, Aerin. I regret that it took me too long to realized it and put my courage."

Lord, she finally smile to me. "How to move on from regret?"

"Really...? Right now?"

She giggles. I miss her giggles and her laugh, and all of her, spesifically.

"Of course not. We should talk about it in comfortable way."

I smile. Smile at how easy this could be. If I just have that damn courage to talk to her sooner. Really, how to move on from regrets?

 

 

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an ending! 
> 
> This is my first fanfiction that I post online, so I kind of shy and nervous about it. I always have less confident in myself everytime doing something new. And English is not my first language, so forgive me if there's many grammatical error in the story. But it was a fun journey to complete this story, so please left kudos if you like it, a comment even better :')
> 
> And last but not least, I'm satisfied with the happy ending, so please excuse Jae and Aerin to date :') 💓


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